legacy

If I die today
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2021-06-06 07:33:12 (UTC)

spent

Yesterday I got 2 drinks deep on our cute dinner date it was a nicer type restraunt but not upper class but above the normal attached into a local nice hotel with a view. SO I had a vodka cranberry base thing that had raspberry also. Otherwise well I smoked some IDK what Im gonna do with myself about that. What to do? I didnt choke much so thats well I guess thats a gppd thing least I'm not dying right now. WE had sex twice yesterday not in a row but before we strated the day and before we ended the day IDK what i did to deserve that guess he's feeling like reddeming thee weekend. yesterday was well get stuff out the way day for him I followed along so we got haircuts. I volunteered that when he goes he should take me. Paid my pwn way I was sorta hoping he'd pay for us both after his but but I guess not. No questions were asked on the self sufficating so I got right in . I layed down 9ish and was in some inbetween state till about 11 woke up close to 7 today. Anyhow we did a little shoping yesterday for some work clothes for him and grabbed some groceries at wal-mart so that was a bit stressful for me I feel so akward about food. Anyhow we did errands till almost 4 when we had dinner . The dog helped himself to nDea's leftover cookies while we were out so he was on punishment. The dogs is well gifted to be alive I guess it was chips a hoy's but I guess many dogs have eat those and lived thru it hes acting fine and was himself other than upset bc he was on punishment and he's good now. I had a bit of sugar yesterday too a cold premade starbucks bottle of coffee from wmart and twizzlers. SO stupid but whatever I thought I wanted it. This moring I just ordered some hallijuah scriptures and got confirmation emails. Idk What exactly I need or want clothes shopping . While I was sleeping yLindse answered me about nJayson his status on recovery from concussion he's out of work for the school year not bc the dizziness so IDK I think if I can help them I should who know what that will look like and if my help is practical and accepted. eAnn texted me yesterday she's still sick and getting her c19 test soon so no visits theere. I suppose she needs it but I just dont get it if your not going to change your treatment of the illness why why add to these #'s and the scheme. On that note beenthinking of yLindse and how she feels so exhausted after work well she works in a school eAnn works in a hosptial is it possible some techolohies are making these people sick. what do you do? IDk I believe were being tricked into these toxic situations and minuaplted but who says I'm right? mom has a doctors appt this week I believe she also works in a hopstial (hospitalS) . Anyhow I should have my po box bill coming up this month then I already paid on my loan. I need to pay storage I guess I can do that today its weird its due on 1st late by the 7th this month is paid but I get paid on the 3 so Id rather go ahead and pay July now than wait in case theres a problem. I still think I want and need summer clothes which I think I can do without but hell I am practilly rashinalising it all. I have a few dishes I want. I want I want I want. IDK whats wrong with me but ill get it together one day right? I really really am unsure if ill ever see the refunded momey from the apt or not. Also Im not sure where all this is oging. I"m greatful that my needs are met today I got a haircut so my hair feels lighter that is great and they let me in without surrdering to the conspiracy. the dog lived thru the cookie binge I somehow bent my key in the door and nearly locked us out but nDea was able to fix it. Oh and on injury notes I scraped up my big to on the step wearing snadles I seem to surive that as exspected. If I crah n burn today it would be in vain I feel like if I set aside my own selfish gluttony and move on serving a purpose I'll be okay. Gotta get over this greed n need I need a heart and somehow figure out how to redeem this tiem and to honor the LORD


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