Being Sam
2021-06-05 08:42:22 (UTC)

When was the last time I was poorly?

I realised that one of the good things about spending the last year mostly in lockdown is that I wasn't around people to catch a cold or other illness from.
We spent 2 nights in Wales and around other people and suddenly I am POORLY. I'm talking fever, sore throat, runny nose and throwing up. It's been that long since I had anything like this that I honestly feel like I'm dying. I'm so unprepared for it and I won't lie, I'm also seriously pissed off. The weather is FINALLY nice...I have a few days off work at the same time as Dean, the kids have been off school for half term...and I'm fucking ill. What a joke.

I pulled myself out of bed yesterday to drive to Manchester as they were burying Sara's baby. It wasn't as awful as I expected it to be. Sad, but not awful. I think it helped Sara to bury it with her dad. I was too poorly to hang around all day so headed back only to get stuck in traffic on the motorway, making a 1 hour drive almost 3 hours. Not gonna lie, I wished for Death about 2 hours in. I was sweating, blowing my nose and crying trying to hold back from throwing up in my car and at one point I was in full on pity party for one mode, sobbing and coughing and I looked over to the car next to me to see a little girl about 5 or 6 who looked at me with an expression that was so unimpressed, as if disappointed in me and I thought, well I couldn't feel any fucking lower lol.

I just want to sleep all day today and wake up a little more human.

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