marielmia

Mariel is MIA
2021-06-04 05:42:32 (UTC)

Sex, Love, Covid

Covid has changed so many things. Before Covid, my relationship with M was long distance. I'd see him every few months and he'd take me on these wild vacations. He knew "a place" in each city we went to where we could play or watch others play. It kept this fine edge for us. It didn't matter to him that i was dating at home, looking for the Love of my Life 2.0. I suppose it was, to paraphrase Bob Seger, a "He used me, i used him, neither one cared" situation. "We were getting our share."

But with Covid, we've been playing house for a year now. Housemates plus. It's surprising to many peeps who write me, but for real, can a couple keep up a D/S thinggy 24/7? We can't. Just some things as they naturally fall out. Like most couples, there isn't fucking around the clock. Yes the weekends and usually laundry night, as he gets turned on by clean sheets. But every night? No. And while i have been fed puree from a bowl next to Rottie for days in spurts, it isn't every time. The binding sessions are spaced and tolerable. The marks given time to heal.

So, with a couple weeks remaining in this contract, where am I going? I don't say where is the relationship going because i see it as a return to the preCovid days. Long distance with M and me, looking for love here. I've still got one more thing to deal with, with my M. He somehow developed the spine to tell me what was in his head. With sleight of hand, he transferred the weight to me, who has to make the choice. Yes, he pussied out to some extent by waiting until the end of the deal to spring it on me, but TBF, we both knew the elephant but neither of us wanted to be first to speak on it. Now, it's my issue. His ask offers the possibility of descent to the lowest level i could imagine. Well, I don't have to imagine since i've been that road before with another guy. But this guy will be supportive, where the last one was just survival. It's touchy cause there is an aftermath that cannot be planned for. Could be exhilaration. Could be major depression. I can't know. I can only know i can count on his support. But that's a lot.

Well, we will see. Time's a ticking




Ad: