Do Not Disturb

2021-05-31 23:43:48 (UTC)

I'm Not An Alcholic

The one thing that I don't miss about drinking again is the constant going to the bathroom all the time of every minute and I swear I went to the bathroom at least 20 times today it felt like.

My remote wasn't working earlier today to my TV but I got the living room remote to switch out the batteries and that's what's when I was able to change the channel again because I didn't want it to be stuck on the same channel all day. I mean who knew that all I had to do was to switch the batteries I'll say 🤦🏽‍♀️. I guess the other batteries died on me but when I switched them out from the living room remote and put them in their it seemed to be working just fine with the living room tv. I know right. Weird. I don't know. Maybe that means it's time for me to get a new tv. I would love that. I've had this tv for some years now. I believe my Grandma gave it to me from some yard sale she went to. She likes to buy used things which nothing is wrong with that because when I go to some yard sales and Antique shops I find some really good stuff that I might like and I buy them and if,you don't you'll regret on not getting it then someone else ends up getting it and then you think to yourself and wish,' Goddamn I should've gotten it when I first saw it ?" Well, let me tell you that happened to many times to me and I still regret on some things that I didn't buy that I wish I bought. I hope I'm not to confusing for you.

Today was the first time in years that we didn't celebrate Memorial Day with going to family members house and throwing a barbecue { I just had to look up how to spell barbecue because for some reason I always put a q instead of a c... Is that just me ?}. I guess because it's also with the day that its on...Monday. I mean could've it been at least a weekend where no one really has to works. But I still say thanks to those veterans who served for us in the war in these hard difficult times. Especially with covid still around.

Anyways, getting off track like I always do. I've been doing nothing all day but watching YouTube videos and chatting it up with different men on Meetme dating app. Yes I downloaded it again but I don't think I'm really ever gonna be in an actual relationship anytime soon. Maybe. But friend guys will do for now. I know this entry is random but I just felt like I had to get this off my chest for some reason.

I wanted to cook some chicken nuggets for dinner tonight and my mother was saying how I don't need to start gaining back weight. I mean that's kind of rude and I just was craving for some chicken nuggets. We bought food for a reason to eat it. She acts like I eat everything in the refrigerator but I don't. And no I won't be on that show like 'MY 600lbs life'. They actually struggled and one of my worse fears. But what she said made me not even want chicken nuggets anymore because of my insecurities and all and I still have a lot of weight to lose. I've only been losing weight because of all this medication that I've been taking and plus I'm still sick but only with this cough which is so annoying and I want it to go away so bad.

I had a cold sore on the left bottom of my lip but its gone now. Its just scars. I hate having cold sores I haven't had one in years and all of a sudden it just wanna pop up along with me being sick and having this very bad sinus infection.

I am tired of going to doctor appointments now. Luckily I only have two more left. I would've had one more if,I didn't have to reschedule my eye doctor appointment and the latest they had was June 22 and the reason of this being is because well simple, I needed a referral in order to do the appointment and I didn't have one yet they were still going to make me co-pay $30 which was stupid if,you told me that I needed a referral to do the damn procedure.So,I just rescheduled it and called my doctor and left a message that I needed one ASAP.

I don't even know why I'm still up at almost 1:30 in the morning typing this since,who knows how long I've been typing this and just rambling like I always do with whatever comes to mind because I been bored all day with nothing to do but lay down and watch YouTube videos which I don't mind doing at all and catching up.

Also, I was on my laptop typing this entry because I never really use my laptop like that. I know right you get something excitingly you've desperately been wanting for so long and now that you got it you don't wanna use it as much. You want something different. I have a chromebook but you don't get to do as much in their and the screen is barely wide enough when you download different apps that you wanna download like TikTok but I was to lazy but realized it was easier to just type it on the phone instead and its way easier than ,typing it in your phone indeed.

Reminder that I still need to call the unemployment office because incase you haven't heard I don't have a job anymore but I have this new job as a housekeeper. I know its not much but I get hours and it pays good but it takes 2 weeks to actually get the job and do background checks. Its to long for me I must say. Maybe I'll get a second job and work nightshift. I need something to keep me occupied other than, staying home all day doing nothing but cleaning up and watching tv,movies ect.... It gets tiring when you do the same thing everyday 🙄. But then again, I might not ending up liking that job and wanting to quit instead so I'll stick to waiting on that call.

Okay, now I think that it all for now. Luckily, I have my alarm set for 8:35 in the morning because I also have therapist tomorrow at 9:40 in the morning. Thank Goodness! Because I really need to get a lot off of my chest of what happened between these past 3 or 4 months. I don't know lost count. Maybe its corona.

- A