If I die today
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2021-05-28 08:19:04 (UTC)

diffrence in a day

Yesterday I started taking generic Tagert brand allegra since I feel like I had a ton of drainage at the denitist last time. Anyhow the meds drying me out. Im still sneezing like a beast too and Its been like the sneezes that make ya pee a little. I'm gross. Slept from close to 10 till 5ish this mornign then again till almost 9 at 9 my coffee was ready. Took an allefra and apple with that. Talking to my mom yesterday was interesting IDK what to make of it but seems good. She feels God opening doors for her to leave her work and pursue other work or possibly retermint. Which I wouldnt disagree that GOD would do that. I think it would be best for her to have some freedom and live. She had been texting my sister which is intrugiing bc my sister had just text me that shes afraid of them bc the jab and that something like thier souls were lost or something IDK anyhow she said she was afraid of them. I'm worried about my sister but proud bc she's found a little bit of truth but its not all coming together for good and I do not believe the physcial jab is gonna touch our souls I do agree "aliens " are coming and we both know thats fake also I see zombies to be coming that we havent discussed but probaly should focus on the LORD and get out of the deciets we know. Reedeming the time. I had this thought yesterday or this morning or something arund sleep anyhow I am not sure if the bible if ever speficaly says withcraft, horoscopes, astrology , forutnes, or physics arnt real I know it says stay away. So I'm feeling kinda foolish bc althou I shouldnt honor it maybe I should stop dismissing and poopooing and consider that theres something there not just bury my head in the sand or deny it. I've made a mistake. On the homefront I still feel like a failure and I'm frustrated witht eh C factor. I just dont like him responding to her and I dont like her attudiue so Thats that I cant control him all I can do is love him. Oh talking to my mom I found out that the 20th was not olny my brothers birthday but it was my dads 25year work anniversy and my dad was upset bc he wasnt aknowledeged and then it turns out they employeer gave him like a 300$ nice watch so thats good . That conversation gave me compassion for my dad bc he does work he has a unquie work ethic and its actually pretty reasonable I dont concsider him a work a locholic. With work injuries though I think he has been apush over a few times. Anyhow I sent him a belated gift a wallet a cheap wallet but I think he will like the thought. I just didnt want him to feel like his life was in vain and IDK where he stands in his life I hear of major changes since 2014 and it seems like things are going in the better direction. I went to khols yesterday I got 3 dresses well dress and skirt outfits 1 dress and 1 jacket that is good for all I didnt see that the one side of dressing rooms was open so I couldnt try them on till home so I feel silly but they all are keepable a little tight but I need to get on that anyway and loose a little I dont know lbs but I know its not more than 10lbs and hte closes are snug not discuting not causing rolls or anything just a little snug so I can fixe that I spent arounf 110 for all and I had picked up a skirt slip but it never made it ot checkout so I'll use my khols cash next week to get that I have to get myself organized I just ordered a shoe organiser for 5 pairs of shoes I did get 1 nice dress sandle like thing with a heal yesterday too anyhow an I got dress hangers. they said it come tues and wendsday or get both on wendsay or get a reard for waiting until the 8th. I cant wait but I dont want boxes so I picked the middle both in one packae. Can I try to be clean or presentable for the 1 day betweeen boxes? I think a day wont matter. I used my food stamps yesterday we got a week or maybe more of food for about 180 so the whole thing went onmy card I had only exspected to have like 135$ so IDK if I got more earlier or misread anyhow my bill was covered. still strggling with food. TO be honest It hink I do have some kind of eating disorder but I dont know how to heal it and the medical system isnt trustworthy. Maybe its offensice or hurtful bc I went to pick up soup and nDea reminded me (barf) that theres food in the shed and I confessed I wont eat it and we had small talk about how canned food is still good I put down the soup and sadly said yeah I probaly cant eat it. so he did say I thought you wanted to save it. So I think he was tryin to please me and I suck I dont appreciate he's doing the best he can. Its all akward maybe I need to be humbled. well I have a lot to share and say nothing life changing thou before I cut out thou I think its good to mention so things I'm greatful for today. I'm glad the budget matches thee needs. There fresh fruit and veggies, not freezing to deat and new clothes and a good brush which might make me a presentable lady.

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