It's like... I want friends but I don't want to put in the work?
Like getting to know people and constantly analysing my behaviour and if they actually want to be around me, and if there's actually anything interesting about me or of they're gonna lose interest/grow tired like so many others have... I'd rather just play video games and all my other boring loner shit activities.
This is probably why my closest relationships seem to revolve around sex and/or drugs, rather than music or... W/e else people bond over.