If I die today
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did GOD hurt him?
Last night was a drinking night for the 2 of us. I went thru about 3 or 4 glasses of wine then he went thru quite a bit enough to make him threw up at 2am then keep drinking till after 3. I'm dissappointed but I understand. I can relate and I know he's going thru heartache. He mentioned that at some point(s) in his life he had tried praying to GOD with no result. I dont have an answer for that . How sad thou to think that there is a GOD and he let you down whatever it is it was a lot for him to go thru. IDK what to do other than pray. Prayin to the same GOD he thinks betrayed him (me praying for him to myself) We had been talking about aliens then came up to the suggestion that aliens may be ancient GODS and thats where it got choppy bc I said well teres one GOD so we had a small talk about HIM . Thats what I care about althou I suppose I should care about a lot more. It was a rough night for him a lot of emotion I tried to lay down after1 then I heard him threwing up and came out the "help" and visit but he started to talk and grabbed another glass of wine so I walked away since he needed another drink I went back to bed no need for me to comfort those choices. Am I a hypocrite? I love him. Also things are moving along the attorney is filinf more witht he court so I had asked if he wanted to look at that with me thats when he mentioned he doesnt waan be my 3rd divorce I tried to exsplain but hell he has a point. I am kinda a dumass. Maybe he really doesnt think I love him? I make a lotta bad choices and IDK maybe he is conivent. I dont htink of it that way other than saving money but f that money. I think he has a lot to offer in love and I feel a connection like no other. I kinda have a headache behind my eyes. Oh yesterday at the dentist was pathitic I paniced so they couldnt get teh needles in bc squirming so they said I could call nDea and aks him to come and he did he wat there in 5min and he sat with but It seemes long I kept choking on my own spit felt like my sinuses were driaining a lot too. IDK thou I must not have been choking bc here I am. I was sore in my mouth after for a while I'm still kinda sore. IF I die today which I wouldnt but anyhow I would defintly want nDea to come to peace with the LORD IDK where GOD betrayed him or failed him I didnt get detials its all very sad thou and concerning whatever it is why should he lose his soul. I really dont know what it was that happened . Its just not right I know he's hurting and struggling to live in this messed up wacked out world. Also the C drama has to be hard on him I bet. IDK how he can ever be free from her but thats up to him what he wants she's pullin a lotta sh!t. I'm not thrilled with her. Well i better go pay a few bills and check my bank account and do something productive