~Bex~

FeelThat
2021-05-23 07:33:22 (UTC)

PERIOD - Beat me up

I have been crushing on T for roughly a month and a half now. I don’t think it’ll pass very quickly. Tbh I don’t think it’ll pass at all! When I think I could stop myself, every time he says something to me I get convinced all over again.

I started my period in December 2021. May is my sixth period. It was meant to be due around the 7th of May, however here I am writing about it on the 23rd. I only just started my period again yesterday so it came over 2 weeks later than I had expected. I was looking at reasons it could have been late:
- Pre-menopause (I’m thirteen so NOPE!)
- Pregnancy (I am a virgin!)
- Weight loss (I don’t think so!)
- Weight gaining (Always been small, light and skinny)
- Birth control (Nope)
- Heart disease (Not that I know of!)
- Diabetes (I like sugar but I’m not sick from it!)
- Stress

Stress - it can be the simplest of things, for me, I get stressed about everything: an upcoming test, keeping a big secret, last minute homework, guilt, getting told off, and many more things. In Y7 I started getting visual migraines. They r HORRIBLE, at first I start to c a small flickering light in front of me but it goes unnoticed as it is tiny, then it grows slowly and begins to make it hard for u to c. It usually takes the shape of an arrow and it looks like a flashing light. After that, my head starts hurting and I get a terrible headache which goes from my forehead all the way to the middle of my head. Sometimes it hurts sooo bad it makes me cry in pain. T has always been there for me when I have one at scl, even though the last time I had one was the beginning of Y8.
I remember once in Science, I was really stressed out cos I forgot to bring my hw and our teacher was really strict so I began to c the visual part of the migraine. I was sat next to him in that lesson and so I told him what was up. He asked me what he could do to help or how it could get better and I was just like ‘our class is soo flipping noisy, the just need to shut up and that will help my head stop hurting’. U won’t believe how great this guy is. He stood up and told everyone to shut up to let my migraine get better or else he would personally come and make them shut up! The whole class shut up as they all saw me crying quietly. I said thank u to him as it probably would have gone on for longer if he hadn’t basically saved me.
I wrote in my other entry how he asked me if I was upset cos of migraines which obvs took me by surprise as I haven’t had one since Y8 and now we r nearly at the end of Y9. You’d have to really care about me if u remembered about my migraines even though I only told u once or twice.
Anyways, enough about migraines. As u can c I am a very stressful person. But what can I say? This world is a stressful world!
With my crush, and the girls code, and my parents, and society, my stress has gone up at least 50%. Not that anyone knows about it! Except E cos I told her. Telling E about my crush and all my problems has really been a relief and I don’t know what I would do if I hadn’t told her. I mean, I would be having migraines every single day! She was really supportive when I told her and she even offered to help start convo, but I was like ‘no thanks. We won’t have any problems with talking. We do that non-stop everyday’. At least, I thought the second part but I DID say ‘no thanks’. She is the bestest Best Friend I could ever ask for and I need to c if I can nominate her for some kind of prize or something.

#BestFriendInTheWorldPrize

U wouldn’t believe it but I was sooooo happy when I felt damp (down there) yesterday morning. And I NEVER thought I’d say that! I was basically celebrating when I found out I had had my period for the month. At least I was trying to but I was having a mood swing so I was having a go at everyone I talked to.

I need to find a way to keep my stress levels down so that my period stays regular, my migraines disappear, and I can be my happy self for longer each day.




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