Being Sam
2021-05-21 20:07:45 (UTC)

Verdict: it's not ok

I got alot of feedback from my last post and to keep it simple, I won't be going on holiday with my friend Chris...unless Dean is coming too. I know it's innocent and Dean knows it too but alot of people won't see it that way and I'm not about to embarass myself or my husband for the sake of a few days in the sun talking shit.
I really appreciated everyone's feedback though. Some actually made me laugh.

The whole question has me feeling like a shitty wife now though and I'm not really sure why. Dean finally finished his university course yesterday! We couldn't get a babysitter on such sort notice though and he has to be up for work at 4am so I was trying to figure out a way to celebrate, even just a little.
Tried and tested go to would be some nice underwear (Side note: I'm going to cringe when I look back on all these posts talking about sex, I know it) and I'm talking breaking out the suspenders. However...I've not wore stockings in what I think is around 2 years and I just put them on now to realise I have got FAT and suspenders don't look sexy on my legs at all. Sob.
The last time I wore the whole outfit I felt sexy, Dean was mad for it and I remember thinking after "this is a special occasion outfit" partly because I don't want him expecting suspender belts and slutty lingerie on the regular and partly because those fucking suspender clips take me an AGE to fasten which gets me all hot and flustered and stressed and there's nothing remotely sexy about me in that state. So's the occasion...out come the suspenders aaaaaand they look awful. I'm now mid moisturising my legs so I smell like coconuts (blame romance novels for that and all the mentions of nice smelling girls) and quietly freaking out because he's seen my sexy black bra and knicker set loads...he's seen the nice nighties and baby dolls and he sees me all the frigging time in just my knickers. None of this will say "here you go, I'm giving you aaaanything you want as your congratulations" they will all just say "this is how I always dress for bed" and that's not what I'm going for. I'm also not going for my thighs being bigger than they were 2 years ago and thus no longer looking hot in thigh highs!
:( if I could go for a run and come back with slightly thinner legs, I would do it. Right now.
Being a woman sucks and I know if I don't feel hot, this isn't going to be fun and Dean will know it too.

Starting to wish I'd just bought him a fucking cake.

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