Third 👁️ Eye Spy

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2021-05-20 22:38:55 (UTC)

He-Man, lol

Oh my days, fun-nut annoyed the fhk out of me tonight, I know I said I don't like blocking or ghosting anyone, BUT I know if I don't block him tomorrow, he will keep on. He got too relaxed talking to me tonight on the phone and actually in his texts too, and even though I am free flowing conversationalist, there are timelines of dos and don'ts. By that, I mean, pal, we've only spoken for a few days and already your laxing out. Also, his over the top sarcastic playfulness made me cringe. YOU don't know me THAT well fun-nut. Don't get all comfy.

I hadn't even said I would take a call from him tonight because I was due to have a catch-up with Phil on his new fancy thing - Okay, she is not a thing lol she is a lovely woman, but she is a lot lot lot lot lot younger than Phil who is 41, lol. Dirty dawg! Lol, He bought a he-man figure for his son and asked his new fancy flame if she wanted to see his He-Man, photo or on vid? (pictured above from Phil) and she thought he meant his dick. I told Phil, well, I would've thought the same, lol!

Anyway's, I was due a catch-up with Phil, and also, the dominant guy (fluffy) was due to call, but I cancelled that as I wanted to carry on talking to Phil because, to be fair, I prefer friends. LOL. Fun-nut text asking if he could call me. I said after I finished on the call I was on but it lasted 20 minutes before I told him I was going as he was really irritating me. I always have told my daughter, no matter what choices you make in life, always maintain your friendships because they are people that stand by you when it is needed most. So I won't accept a call from the fluffy from this point now, either. I've decided I do not want to dabble where I have no genuine interest. So from tomorrow, fluffy and fun-nut will be in the past.

Also, I think I have strong feelings for 'my ex guy. It doesn't seem to matter what men I talk to; I keep measuring them up to him, and of course, none do. FML...Ughhhh. I do not want to do what Bumble did, by being on dating sites when I am not ready or have feelings for someone else still. Bumble doesn't have feelings elsewhere, but he does have mucky legal stuff going on. I have not gone onto these dating sites this time around with genuine intention, perhaps I have just found healing in the company of men, but either way, even as much as Ed is a real temptation and keeps drawing me in here and there. I am like an elastic band right now and keep pinging back to where it feels like home - with 'my ex guy'.

I am not sure where I am going on the personal front, but I know who I care about, feel connected too and who I want. I guess it is why I am cancelling on these men when I think I might do stuff with them. I.e. Ed and Fluffy. My subconscious is coming forward and taking precedence when my nemesis libido tries to take over me. So it doesn't matter how many dick pics are sent to me, what things are said to me, how sexy or enigmatic. I don't want any of them. I want him.

Feelings, eh! Mofo's, aren't they!