Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
It's ok to mourn❤️
Listening to: Heaven - Kane Brown
With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.
It's a sticky one already, Ac was running yesterday but it cooled off after dinner so I turned it off, opened the windows and slept comfortably. It's going to be hot today again so the AC is already on. Bring it on! haha. I slept well.. but had a few dreams that I do not recall. My mind has been in overdrive lately while I sleep but I woke feeling wide awake.
I was asked by a subscriber who's been here since I began writing. She asked me a question and I asked her if she's ok with me answering it here as I think it may help others ( I hope) she was. So her question was.. She said during my last breakup I was so distraught and felt like I couldn't move on from my ex until we ultimately reunited. What was different this time that I seem like I was able to let go of him. Honestly, I do not plan to write about why we broke up or our relationship at all but I am ok with writing about how it affected me.
We had an incredibly intense connection, with that comes conflicts, like all relationships. Being an empath, I often took on his feelings as well as my own so some conflicts were a bit more difficult. Every time we had an issue, he'd bring up breaking up or threaten it. I finally expressed how hurtful that was to hear that every time we had an issue. I explained that no relationship is perfect. Every couple has issues, I explained it really hurt me because to me it felt like he could see life without me. I couldn't. When I love you, I wholeheartedly love you. I see forever with you. I don't say I love you often because of how much my love has been taken for granted and abused so if I say it, I mean it and I will love you forever. He on the other hand said he did not believe in forever in general, not just in our relationship. I get it, he's had a rough life as I have so his faith is shaken. Anyways, we agreed he would not say it again unless he wanted out, for good. So when he said it this time. I knew... He wanted out. So I let go. Ultimately I want him happy, even if I am not the one to make him happy. I love and respect him enough to want that for him. Did it hurt? fuck yes, it knocked the wind out of me. Does it still hurt? hell yes. I did not get closure because it happened so fast. In the morning I was "babygirl" and by dinner I was let go. It hurt. How do I handle it? I allow myself to feel it. I allow the moments or days that it hurts more than usual. Hurting is a natural part of a breakup because it shows you, your feelings were real, genuine. So don't ignore them. Cry if you need to, stay in bed a little longer if you need to. Allow yourself those moments to feel what you feel but then get up and show up for yourself. Have a shower, count your blessings, and set goals for yourself, and work to achieve them. Find positives every day. Keep busy. I still mourn the amazing times we did have, the plans we made and the best friend I lost and that's perfectly ok to mourn it. You're supposed to. But your question was how come it's different this time for me? Because I have grown. I delved deeper into my spirituality and learned more about the universe and the divine. It doesn't mean I cared less, in fact, I cared more. I have just taken the spiritual views as to why things happen. Holding on I was smothering the growth I had to do and blocking the universe from what's bringing me what's meant to be. I am trusting the divine and the universe.
I am a huge believer in the divine, the universe playing a part in your life, of the divine feminine and the divine masculine. If you hold on so tight to something or someone, you are blocking the universe from bringing you what's meant for you. It could very well be your past love but it could also be someone new. Sometimes the universe removes people from your life but there's always a purpose, either one of you or both have growing to do on your own and in time, the universe will reunite you if it's meant to be but sometimes they are removed to bring you what is meant for you in the form of someone else. Either way, you need to let go to allow the universe to bring you what it is that is meant for you. Focus on yourself, show up for yourself, and allow the universe to work its magic. It will all make sense eventually.
I hope this helps❤️
Off to run some errands!
Have a wonderful day!❤️
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