Dominus

Lumina ❤️
Ad 2:
2021-05-15 01:25:28 (UTC)

Anxious heart

i know that everything that has happened.. all the bad stuff, nothing was in my control i just had to watch it all happen and move on to the next thing without having any time to process any of it and it kept on piling up more and more until it just felt so natural to be unhappy all the time that whenever i felt happy it felt so out of place..
that i would just be expecting the next time id be unhappy again.. and never actually enjoy the moments while i actually am happy..
being alone never bothered me for so long but now i actually feel so scared of dying alone.. but at the same time i feel like such a burden to other people because im always so sick and i cant do things i would like to do for myself or others..

i cant depend on anyone else its always been that way and it shouldnt be any different now.. i will get better on my own and i think emotions
are just making it very hard to heal.. i know everyone tells me not to close myself off but i dont think i am ready to be open.. and maybe i never will.. who knows but for the moment i need to close myself back up and do what i need for myself.. its time i made time for myself.
people will come and go and i dont wanna be the one left here all the time.. people can only hurt u if u let them and im tired of letting people have so much power over me..


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