The Life Of Scar Girl

The Life Of Scar Girl
2021-05-15 17:07:45 (UTC)

Hungry, Tired, Head Feels Weird.

I am feeling really strange today.
I woke up feeling super hungry. Which is kind of normal for me actually. But its almost like im so hungry i feel faint like and feel like i could pass out. But when I do try to eat I feel like I can only eat a little bit. My right hip is kind of bothering. But it I have to get a new bed and mattress. This mattress i have there is an actual ass print from where I sit. Cause i dont the space in my room to have a nice chair since I share one with my sister.

While im aware of my surroundings i feel very out of it today. Especially after my dizzy spell yesterday. Its also very cloudy today and i think that's another reason I feel very out of it and kind of like my head is in a fog.

My main focus right now is getting something to eat since i feel like i could pass out from feeling hungry. I just want this feeling to go away. This paranoid feeling of feeling like im going to pass out. I dont know maybe i should let my body pass out and be done with it. Like next time i get a dizzy spell just let happen and hopes nothing bad happens.

My heart murmur has been acting crazy since all this has started. Water seems to calm it down a little. But now I feel drained not only from feeling like i could pass out. But also from my heart murmur acting since its started. Why cant I just take myself to urgent care or the hospital and get it over with ??? I guess im just scared of it being something worse or needing another surgery. Which i cant afford even with the help of unemployment. Ugh... I just want to know what it feels like to have a semi normal life without health problems that affect me the way it does.

Will see how I feel tomorrow.




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