If I die today
Ad 2:
2021-05-14 05:06:19 (UTC)

nothing right

Where to begin? I"m stressed and I feel lame about it bc this is life right adult life is hard work and the bullshit should be able to be handled right? Ok so yesterday I had a cup of wine as well thats probally just gonna be fact for a bit while IM trying to move and pack theres just no time for running althou the weathers great what can ya do. I mean hell if I didnt think I'd disturb nDea maybe I could give it a shot now as well I cant freagin sleep past what 430 or 5 I'm trying my f'ing best I just cant I think we went to bed at like 10. F Ijust cant sleep in the mornings. What can ya do I cant take flexerial right now I have all this work to do in my apartment today to move furniture tommorow. I have a lotta stuff that what do you do with. The landlord says the new person is like ready to move in and now shes offering me a refund for the days I can leave before the ednf the month. IDK what to think thou I think its all lipservice. I'm overwhelmed with the cleaning bull crap bc hell I'm not a cleaner. Then well theres just stuff how can I pack what am I gonna do with all this stuff specailly consumbales. yLindse got back to me that she could use a few things so that helps. IDK I just feel like I cant fo anthing right today all ready. We will go to the apt at around 10 bc thats twhen his work starts so I have like 10-3 to work on stuff. IDK I just wanna burn it or throw it all away and say hell with it. I might just rent another storage unitl this weekend and next week have all the little things stuffed in there. IDK .nDea and I are differnt on a few things so Idk about that but we will work throw it I guess its all persepctive. Im just overwhelemd I have complaints and what do ya do ? Its nothing dramatic but I feel like Ic ant do anything right . so I'm trying to slowly move in a few nonperishables and things and to me his pantry looks random and a mess but then yesterday he commented on how we need to do something diffrent cant finf anything wasnt it like that before me? ISK maybe I misjudged. Its a small space here to heard to oragize and I dont htink he understands fully I literaly have 80 bottles of water small example of what I'm trying to do. He's defintly a microwave man thats not my stlye and I'm not into plastics and such so dishware and things I wanna figure out how to get a few things in here but not overwhelm or insult him. Its stressful.. I' love him thou the whole thing this mornign that gets well it got my goat is just that I cant sleep so I leave the bedroom close the door and make coffee in like 10min he comes out to use the bathroom so I'm wondering did I wake him up? then just before 6 he comes out ask me to turn down the tv wth? What am I supposed to do. Im just frustrated and cranky I dont have much a vision on plan i'm emmbarsasses ashamed and sad about my place. bc well I have so much stuff but lets face it I'm not oragnaized or reasonable but I was prepared comeon I did good right I wouldnt have ever had to bought another thing if I was locked in there for a month alone. but I screwed up. IDK what I'm doing I feel like an idiot and dont think I can ask anyone for help bc I'm sure moral support is thin based on my histroy of bad choices in men. detials are a PIA. Oh so we went to get boxes last night as far as large I got 3 and a lock and tape so we went to check out I think it was around 30$ I had my card went to pay and he said let me pay I got it. IDK I dont get it he;s eaither a really good man or I made some sorta sad crazy look or put a guilt trip out there somehow that made that happen. I hope I'm not a whinney b!tch excpet now rgith now i'm cranky and winey and IDK what to do. I feel so stupid. OK physcially lotsa heartburn after pizza last night that usual for the pepporni meatball pizza. I am beat probally mentally but feelin it all over. My tooth hurts same old same old stuff. IDK thats about that. I cant hink anymore either so guess thats a wrap for right now

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