My happy place
To my dearest Lumina,
Thank you for being my light and hope, I will always remember you and cherish our time together forever.
i think my mental state is just always thinking of you passively at this point. I don't even realize it anymore its
just nonstop, maybe I'm kind of crazy but that's okay it makes me happy and I always tell myself that if I'm thinking
of you then you are thinking of me in that exact moment every time so we basically think of each other forever.
Thank you for saving me, these aren't just words they are the most truest feelings i have ever felt.
i spent most of my life just void and empty waiting to die with no purpose, but because of you I m actually
scared of dying for once. that is the kind of purpose you have shown me for myself. I actually feel like getting up
and trying to be better and do good. its a new feeling because I don't know where to begin but I'm always trying because I know
that's what u would want me to do. never give up.
i know one day you will get busy or I will get busy and maybe we wont get to hang out or talk as much anymore
but our time together has been worth more to me then a whole life time and I hope you can see it that way too.
a lot of people end their friendships with arguments or on bad note but I don't think that will ever happen with us.
we will forever be the best and bring out the best in each other. no matter what you are doing or thinking you have to remember
i want nothing more then for you to be happy, if you feel sad or down on a certain day and maybe I'm not there you need to stop and think,
what would I want you to think or do if I was here? I do that a lot of times and of course read our old convos and I hope
that is something you can do one day too and remember our time and memories. always hold on to the good memories.
if you ever miss me so badly just remember I'm just one thought away, I feel like thinking of someone is closer then anything
because for that moment your with the person~ its a state of mind and heart and I hope you can also feel that way.
I don't want you to be depressed or sad ever because you should know by now we are connected on a much deeper level.
it doesn't matter how far away we are we still share the same sky. sometimes I look at the sky and I'm thinking your also looking at this
same sky and we can meet in the sky that way~
I now realize that there is no outcome where it ends well for us.. maybe I always knew that and just ignored it because I wasn't
brave enough to face it and I'm sorry I couldn't make everything easier for you because I was always too blinded or selfish
and I hope you can forgive me for that.. but my intentions were always good.. I just want to protect you and keep you happy whenever
i can then maybe i will feel like I was able to bring someone happiness..
thank you for making me feel like I could love someone again.. I never thought I could get those feelings back again or feel like
i could care so deeply for someone.. and making me realize there is so much more to life still then just emptiness.. and reminding me
how to smile and laugh again and feeling so happy.. part of me wishes it was you but we both know that cant happen but it still made
me happy even for just a moment.. there is no way we aren't connected.. we literally get heartaches for each other.. please remember that
you are never alone.. I will always be there in your heart as you are in my heart.
I have been writing this on and off in bits and pieces since we first met, every time I feel happy and I cant tell you.. I just write it.
i hope you can feel happy the same way you shown me happiness and feeling loved.
If anything were to happen to me, I hope you can try your best and live your happiest life because that is what I would want for you and it would
make me so happy. always stay happy and smiling. I want nothing more then to protect you and keep you happy.
One day I will fade away.. you will forget my voice.. but I hope I can give you some meaningful memories and live on through that.. please don't forget me.
I Love you Lumina.
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