👁️ Bandersnatch 👁️

Through the Looking-Glass
2021-05-08 07:44:48 (UTC)

RAIN!

Oh, bloody English weather! Rain, rain, rain.

You know what this means? It means the walk is out, and the pub is out - as around here, it's only sitting outside at pubs at the moment because of Boris' rules.

What does that leave?

My house

Ugh...

I'm not that into this guy either, mainly because he has stuff going on in his life that puts me off. I've got a simplistic, stress-free life. He is currently gddfhfdfjkugjkkgfbjffg! I don't want to be that supportive, good woman helping him through. It's not my mess.

So, it comes down to saying he can come round here - but then I'll have to get rid of him. Or cancel today/tonight and not bother with him anymore.

The man is extremely inexperienced in the laws of dating, the fuckery that goes on, and the games women play. It's clear because he has told me everything about all the shitty stuff, former relationships etc., things you don't openly share this early on. I'm pretty sure others might have thought, "Nah, moving on". But that would be because they take the information at face value rather than see the man doesn't understand the sneaky wiles of women's ways.

Of course, he is playing with fire with me, and he is unaware of that. I'm not in this dating scene to mess with peoples heads, though, because I'd like an equilibrium with a guy in the right way that progresses naturally BUT in the dating scene its hardcore fuckery and sways more between serial daters who love the thrills, the meals, the laughs. Some are addicted to it with no intentions of more.

For me, my personal life must remain chilled. The stressy stuff will only stay in my work life, not my social time, sex, personal time.

I feel quite an aversion to a relationship, especially since the experience with 'my ex guy' that was a test for me to see if I was ready for more. I liked him, but I'm sure he felt that I was only 50% with him outside the bedroom, somewhat cold and unsure. A bit uncomfortable with sharing my time and space with him in my house. He spent long weekends with me, and at times I become quite irritated by him lazing around my home, feeling all comfy lol, and he didn't have mucky shit going on in the background (well, at least he kept it quiet) until I found out later he did.

Bumble has mucky stuff outside going on too, these men in this world have always got mess around them. So fkn weak and pathetic, and insecure.

It's not rocket science to keep the slate clean.

I'm still deciding on what Im going to tell him what we're doing tonight. I don't really want him in my house at this stage, but it's either that or cancel as the other plans are fucked now.

A sign from the heavens? Lololol......RUN, T!

It's not as simple as with Ed, where I know it's just a fuck, no dramas. Bumble is looking for more, so he wants to do things differently.

Awkward

You know my kitty disliked 'my ex guy' she avoided him, hid from him. She knew he was a wrongun, lol.

I might buy a pogo stick...


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