Onnie

just for the record
2021-05-05 08:57:00 (UTC)

One of those days

It was one of those days today. I spent it mostly in bed and in my head. I just went to the store to buy mayo ketchup and some tomatoes. I also wanted to buy some beers but didn't have my ID and the they could't sell it to me. Apparently I look so much younger than my age.. I almost 31 and look less than 25?? Ok I guess.
So I was in bed most of the day watched some South Park episodes while eating, talked one the phone with my family as the sun was setting behind the clouds outside my window. It was a sad feeling. Didn't want this day to be a complete waste. Then I thought that if I write a bit today It will redeem my self.


I broke up with him. I feel relieved. I have noticed that after my hardest break up all the next ones have been a relief to me.
He cannot change for me I cannot change for him. If he wants to be with his friends I'm not the one to stop him. If he wants to open a business I have no say in that. He thinks that our relationship has nothing to do with his friends. How is that possible? I want my partner's friends to be my friends too. He said I don't have to spend time with them.. Well what will I be for him, if not a part of his life? A warm body for the night a good house-wife for the day, a person to always support him? Just a nice accessory for the house..? Before he moved away we had the perfect time together. He had his job I was waiting to start working as I did. We had dinners together, drove around town together, went to some nice places.. He wanted more I guess. And funny thing is I was the first to encourage him to leave. He was so excited about it. I was pretty hopeful too actually. But he didn't find any job. Actually he turned it down.. So whatever. He has to make his own way.




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