TM49

My History Of Familial Incest
2021-05-06 18:37:07 (UTC)

Work and Focus

Having contractors working on different properties is a nightmare. Simply keeping straight whose doing what and where takes a good memory. I am waiting for one to stop over with a proposal while having a heated discussion with another about another place. It's mind numbing. I got two of 3 goals done today, one will have to wait til tomorrow. At least I have work when a lot of people don't. I see the lure of making unemployment and binging Netflix all day.
My mood is ....alright. Better than okay which is my standard operating procedure. It will get hard again. The anniversary is coming up soon but I am staying busy and enjoying the warmer weather and refocusing on my health goals. Relationships are sort of "back burner." Not for a lack of interest, but I think I'm rethinking the whole "I need a relationship." I don't NEED one. I want one. I want what it can bring. I might not be ready for anything beyond the internet. That's okay. In small increments I am trying to lead myself back to balance. I went into a dark place the end of last year. Very dark. The kind of dark where "I don't want to be here." I'm backed away from that state. It's not a good place to be. Life hasn't and will never be the Shangri-la I said in a last post. I will embrace the happy moments as best I can and build upon them the best I can. I am still here.
-TM




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