Lily

Lily's diary
2020-11-12 10:40:45 (UTC)

time has

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Life was ok growing up. days would be wake up, cook for everyone, clean the carpets/toilet/attic, and go to lectures. Don't waste money on lunch, or when friends asked for restaurants. Come home on time to make sure everything was clean- to prevent verbal, not that anything was physical, but it could lead that way. Go to my part time job maccas, not much time to study but that can be done on the weekend.
Didn't want to waste the family's money so weekends would be spent at home study or westfields/public library for AC. Declined concerts, bdays, and not many movies out of cost. Other times, would take elder out to the racehorses just to view, shops, outside hiking to get some exercise, to help them mentally. Also nowdays pay for their private health insurance. Freed some animals/insects from petshops. Occasionally would go to parties but had other things on ones mind. not much time for girls, perhaps didnt want to burden, or maybe just got the habit of just not pursuing. Moving to another city for work realised one's mistakes, then went bit nuts and just continued to fall-twice. Thought was one truly bad, or just got messed up-how someone who always thought of others, nice and gentle just mess up so badly. Created someone to try to tell her who the real me was as a last ditch effort- perhaps she would understand but that didn't go as planned. Sometimes best to just move on.
Anyway words are not important, but where they come from. Sometimes best to just say very good and move on




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