i shouldnt be here
Today I woke up early and ate a bagel while reading. Then I got onto my computer for school on time. Then I started working on my math homework and my *good* mood sort of deteriorated. I'm not sure if how I'm feeling at the moment would be considered sad or fine (although if anyone asked it would definitely be fine). The way the natural light is coming through my window right now makes me want to have been able to lie down on my bed, feeling bored but not stressed in the least. Unfortunately, school hasn't ended yet, my homework hasn't been completed yet, my confidence from yesterday (or whatever that was) has depleted and I just want to sit here doing nothing.
I wonder how everyone else keeps moving. I keep taking a stopping and then moving because I fall behind in a cycle. I should be working right now. Why can't I just do it? There's nothing stopping me from finishing everything (work-related) extremely fast if I put enough effort behind it. So why aren't I? Why am I still writing here as if this'll give me an answer rather than on that other tab doing math crap? ah yes, procrastination.
i wonder what i'd think of myself if i worked better, did better. would life be easier? it'd certainly get boring but at this point, boredom isn't my concern. this is useless. i wish someone would tell me so i wouldn't have to try and convince myself, its such a bland, repetitive thing. but would i even listen? lol
maybe i wont be back here. bye.