Seeking wisdom
2021-05-05 02:33:51 (UTC)

Throwing in the towel

That is it. I threw in the towel. I lost my motivation to keep pushing forward.
I accepted my fate. Im sick and tired of feeling like I am going to lose my job. That someone is talking shit behind my back or someone is coming after me. I just need to put my head down, do what I need to do and just accept the sword that will be entered into my chest.
I have no control.
This uneasy feeling makes me feeling im drowning and Im bringing my family down with me.
They feel what I feel. They know im dying on the inside. What can they do? All they can do is watch me bleed, cry and deal with my crazy paranoia. I cant breathe. My breathe keeps cutting short. I looked stressed. I look like Im not in control.
They know. They all know. My coworkers, my boss, my family.
Im always been that weak person. I have no confidence in myself. I have no fight in me.
I lost the battle. What is the point in fighting for something when you know you already lost.
All I wanted to do was to support my family.... I didnt know doing that also meant looking a part of me.