༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

Ramblings, Stories, Fantasies
2021-05-04 20:41:14 (UTC)

Same stoner drama

Grabbed dinner
Grabbed a shower

Stoner called
Asked if I had any pains,
Remember his comment “it’s always something hurting “.....
So said nope. I’m good.
Asked if I had been journaling, said yep
Asked if anyone sent any positive or negative messages, s
I remember, he said two weeks ago he didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want to hear about my entries, didn’t want to hear about comments, so said nope.

He went on about his knee pain I hear about daily
The neighbor drama I hear daily
The grandkid drama I hear daily

Just sat and kept quiet

He then said I love you
Said love you too
He said no... I really love you
He dreams of me....

Blah blah blah
I sat quiet
He said anything you want to tell me...
Said nope. Just laying here relaxing.

He was wanting me to go on about how I miss him and shit
Sadly, I don’t
I’m glad we don’t live together
He said he can’t wait to live with me so he can cuddle with me and shit
I laughed quietly. I’ve learned. Laugh internally, not outwardly.
There’s no way in hell we could ever live together.
Specially if it’s my house.
I’m certainly not moving in with him.
Hell no.
Did that only once in my life, never again.
Rest of the time it’s been they move in with me, However, the last few didn’t even get the option to know where I live.
I like it this way.
I know in a week ima have to have an excuse to why he can’t come here and I can’t go there. I will figure it out.
Can’t be honest about it because he will do what he normally does and think he can talk his way into changing my mind. Like his word is gospel or some shit. I need to believe him when he says something...
Yeah, but what about the negative shit, I’m sure he will tell me not to believe that, it was said for one high reason or another.

Either way,
I’m happy with my life.
He’s at a distance.
I’m going to keep it that way.
He doesn’t like it...
I’m not at a loss.
I’m happy just as I am.

I am tired from today.
Hands hurt.
Hope to figure something out to finish the yard.
I grabbed a 2 hour nap at 400 not really wanting to but couldn’t hold my eyes open any longer.

Still tired which is ok, I was up since 1130 last night. Did get a ton of shit done today.
More than I thought I could accomplish
So won’t feel so bad just vegetating

I’m going to grab my medications and probably doze off tonight
Still super drained and tired and yes my body is sore and hurting...
It’s expected with everything I did today

So good night