For Me
2021-05-04 16:50:18 (UTC)

Pressing Forward

I am slowly yet surely making progress still. I am working with a hiring agency to try and find a new job. They are referring me to Lennar homes for an admin / clerical position but I might turn it down. Having looked at their reviews they are an awful place to work for. Although people dont often go out of their way to say nice things so who knows and the pay isnt too bad. We will see there is also no harm in biding my time to see what is on the other side so to speak.

Been trying to find some good self improvement books but cant seem to find any thats right for me. Thankfully I keep coming to Barnes so I am able to take a look around in by study breaks. Which have been going well. I am slowly getting ruby better and I feel good having done something constructive when I get home. Makes me enjoy my free time more because it feels earned. I got about an hour yesterday so ama push myself to two or more today.

But supposedly there is things going on with my nephew that might cause him to come live with us. He wont talk to be about it (assuming thats really the case as I heard it through the grapevine) so I have no clue what the issue is but its something to do with his mother. Which would lead to him coming to live with us and Brad would have to be kicked out for him. And Brads my ticket out of there so I may try to move my plans to move out much sooner. I mean Id like to do so before the end of the year but maybe Ill find a job sooner than I want and then immediately budget and find a place for us.

Its not ideal but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do and I already been there long enough. Plus maybe it will be worth it if we can have an extra room to study in. But we will see.

Something else that's been on my mind as of late is maybe writing a story or comic. I wanna base it on Brad and I's characters Brightroar and Cawthorne from when we played City of Heroes. I donno when Ill find time to do that while I focus on studying and everything else but maybe Ill start making little notes about my ideas so I dont forget.

Things are looking better. It might get difficult but I am still here and I already lost what was most important to me so I have no fear moving forward. I can tackle whatever without fear and only determination because I can only succeed. But... there is not a day that goes by where I do not think about you and so much reminds me of you. Maybe because its all so soon but I still find myself in these zoned out depressed states. However, it is what it is. As a wise man once said "Stand up and walk. Keep moving forward. You've got two good legs. So get up and use them. You're strong enough to make your own path.". My own path indeed. Anime is wild man.