Bipolar Mama
2021-05-04 13:17:11 (UTC)

I'm really proud to say ..

I'm really proud to say that I've made some significant strides in giving Jeff space and trust in the relationship. I used to frequently stew when I saw him typing on his phone, picturing him flirting with some mysterious blonde that excites him more than me. I couldn't understand why I couldn't trust him, While frequently indulging in a paranoid delusion of him disrespecting me. I've went through his phone, Facebook, email. I've went digging for things and never really found anything. I've been upset to see him talking about me to a girl I don't like ... and some things that were a little strNge or he wasn't fully transparent about... but never reasonably felt like he was sneaking behind my back or being disloyal.

All in all, I'm trying to rewrite negative thoughts processes and more importantly NOT act on them. The more I recognize that Jeff loves me, And would never jeopardize our relationship, the more I treat him with the love, patience and respect he deserves.

Over the past few days I've had some frustrations with Jeff. He's recovering from surgery but I need to be more patient with him. It's hard when I have Keegan and feels like I'm doing everything but being patient and considerate of his position is all that I can do right now. It just reminds me of us before the accident and him lying in bed while everything fell on me. And now with us talking about sharing businesses it makes me really nervous that I'm gunna ALSO do all the work there.... and he will do bare minimum and claim half