TM49

My History Of Familial Incest
2021-05-03 14:44:01 (UTC)

Better For Now...

Things have seemed to have blown over more or less. I don't know if she thought about it and talked to someone, but it's almost back to normal. I'm glad because I didn't the need the stress of it everyday.
Found the convenience center guy on FB but I haven't messaged. Maybe I am reading to much into anyway. Maybe he just wants to add me on FB and nothing else. I would prefer that actually. Or just keep him separate from my life. I don't want him to have romantic intentions even if I WANT romantic intentions with someone. Or do I even want that? Sometimes I truly don't know. I looked through his friends list and recognized a few people even a couple distant cousins.
It's nice to have someone show interest in you. It's nice online as well, but when you are in physically proximity with someone there is a chance for skin to skin, even if you're not sure you want that. I am not sure. I lean towards no. But the idea is interesting to think about anyway. When I started chatting with this guy he said to me "you always look happy girl." (I am wearing a mask so he sees my eyes.) Do my eyes look happy or is that what he chooses to see? Am I projecting calm positivity when my heart and mind often churn with pain? If so then I am a fucking rock star.
-TM




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