If I die today
I'm just getting in to the day nDea spent the night with me bc guess what? eCarri was in there trailer so the move is happening now the final stpes I guess there was an issue with the house and propety manamement was cleaning their house still yesteraday. I don thtink that was eCarri's scheme but still I told him dont contact me till theres been a separtion then I suggested well maybe he can stay with a friend who has something comfortable for the night and he offered to come here. so he did and he stayed. I just love him . We did have a bottle of wine between the 2 of us and 1 single serve sargia. I feel ok but I think wine does him in. I woke up around 5 then like every hour till around 8 when we were waking up together. We went to sleep after midnight. I'm on coffee #1 from the keurig. I might do one more keurig coffe and then I guess I have to tackle chores at some point. I ate on seratono fast break pumpkin seeeds at like 9 when I made the coffee's so I'm skipping breakfast sinc eit already after 10 but I had plannined on oatmeal I didnt know I was having a guest. Overall I know he's trying and doing his best and I dont doubt our relationship I'm happy with him. I do not know how soon our future together will come but I believe he's my forever. I have a little bit of a headache and like tmj pain. yesterday I had some text with my sister and we openly were texting about a lot of childhood things it wa kinda therouptic and healing yet its sickening. We have a lot of similar memories. We dont either one of us quiete understand the abuse we went thru. I'm planning on burning off a few more red moles today (I know sounds gross) I'm slow thinking so moving on. TOdays quesion:
What in my life no longer serves me - emotionally, physcially and spiritually?
This is a tough one. I do have my old friend emik noNelso 's cards old IDs and stuff he gave me IDK why but I suppose I dont need to keep those around. Alchol isnt doing me many favors lol. My clothes have some questionable things in there that dont fit right or are not the look I feel good about . Unfortbaly I dont think I acutally use my slinky's much. Althou they sit right by bed close by always. Theres likely some food depencies that I have shed I would hope. I think I'm maturing so I'm getting away from cartoons slowly still enjoy them on occasion but other times I could care less. the news doesnt do much for me either. Outside the physical things stil in my life that dont serve me .. hiding the past, hoarding , overeating, the damsil in distress character isnt workin for me either. I am still having trouble thinking and I'm having reflux now too I cant keep writing right now
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