meelife

Living Without Lighting
2021-04-29 07:59:00 (UTC)

Where Have I Been?

Busy, that's where I've been. This past week has been rough, and I wish I had written here sooner because the feelings I had spewed in my last entry never really started leaving me until today. Instead, I've worked on an edgy poem that I may or may not decide to post here. Not sure how comfortable the patrons of My Diary are with dark humor. In addition, the end of the semester is around the corner, so I've been reaping the consequences of my procrastination.

I'm beginning to have doubts about my therapist. I shared with him said poem, and after fourteen stanzas of verbose angst he just nods his head and says "yeah, you're a good writer!", as if what I shared with him was a high-school English essay rather than self-expression. I made a back-handed compliment that he plays a good poker-face, and he made the same redundant nod to that too. With his moussed hair, unwrinkled eyes and sly, shit-eating smirk. Leave it to the "perfect people" to find out what to do with the broken ones. Never gets anywhere. He really helped get my life on track, I must give him credit for that. However, anything remotely profound and he stays floating at the surface.

In other news, I registered for my classes today! Now I just have to look for a campus job. I'm rather concerned with the curriculum however, as all of my classes will be online. Essentially, my first semester of "real" college may very well feel like adult day-care. However, the classes I'll be taking certainly aren't child's play. I'm taking fifteen units, and I've got a good feeling I'm going to have to study my ass off as google won't be as available as it is here in the community curriculum. In addition, upon further analysis, my room will be overlooking the school's soccer field which is nice. I was briefly afraid that my vista would be obstructed by another building. I'd really like to get involved in some writing clubs, if they've got them.

Furthermore, I've recently been introduced to the concept of eGPUs. Essentially, they're cases that you install a graphics card into, and from there plug into a computer of your choice. I have a gaming rig that unfortunately died last year, and have been using a micro-pc that still runs games but not nearly as well. With an eGPU, I could take my GTX 1080 and just slap that shit in for a good time. I've promised myself for a while that I'd get something nice for college, however as long as I have a job lined up then it's feasible. Otherwise, there are more important matters to save up for.

Feels good to vent again on this website. Until next time...