Scream Above the Sounds
2021-04-29 08:03:44 (UTC)

I Feel So

I feel so shit. This past week has been challenging. The last pieces of uni work are almost done now and then we have an exam in about two weeks and then I don't really know what the final days will hold to be honest. It's a surreal feeling. It doesn't feel like I've almost finished my first year of university at all. I've blinked and it's over. Hopefully year two will be a lot more normal but who knows what the future holds? As it stands, I'm super ill at the minute. Everybody in my house is right now it seems. Both my parents are coughing and you know me, I've been coughing since bloody November. They have already done covid tests and they have come back negative but yeah, not feeling good at all right now. I'm sleeping ridiculous amounts. Finding it very hard to stay awake and just have little to no energy. I think I'll have to ring my doctor again soon before I finish these tablets and just see what the next step is because nothing is really happening here. I don't feel any better.

I feel no different to when this all came on back in November. I think the tablets have supressed it but ultimately it's still here and I'm still coughing, and it's just annoying. Maybe this is just adulthood and it's time for me to embrace that I am an old man. Just kidding, of course but I'm just so tired of this. I think it's groundhog day enough with covid and the way the majority of us are living our lives in lockdown but having this constant cough as well as weird sleeping cycles is just making everything feel so much harder to deal with. It's a horrible feeling when you're shivering cold and have a banging headache. I feel like my body doesn't have a clue what's going on. I'm sat here in swimming shorts and an overcoat, I don't know what's coming next. The unpredictable changes in my temperature have honestly got me hanging.

I feel so dull. Like even though I know my life is moving in a positive direction I'm just sick and tired of the way things are right now. I'm sure everybody feels the same. I'm just trying to keep moving. I feel like life is just punching me and I'm not punching back. I'm just taking it. I sound like such a grump, dear God.