meelife

Living Without Lighting
2021-04-24 07:54:53 (UTC)

Anger and Ambition

It seems as if just about everyday a new individual is added to a shit-list that I'd like to begin verbally checking off. My pathetic manager Mike, my miserable parents, my entitled stepbrother and his fancy money job. All these people who believe they've got it "figured out" and in some way know more than I do, when in reality they have blind spots that are no less prevalent than mine. If it weren't for my decency I'd tell them how it is; how my parents ride the crests of misery, how my manager's two-facedness doesn't protect him from the fact that in his mid-30s he works a dead-end retail job. And "Patrick", dear god. If he continues his arrogant ways he's going to be dumped to the wayside just like I did with Newt, and with the same lack of remorse as well. I'm beginning to loathe these people. I dream of moving away from it all, beginning my own career and living a life where I'm entitled to my own dignity. Faraway in a place untouchable by their grubby, pessimistic hands.

However, in such turmoil there's serendipity to be found. Today I officially chose a dorm room, and I couldn't be more excited. Top floor, single room all to myself and right near campus facilities. I'm already beginning to wonder what sort of entries I'll be typing in there! Looking out my window among the campus and pine trees, I'll find endless inspiration. Unlike the fuck-dungeon of a chamber I'm residing in. My current vista is that of a kennel and an overgrown fence. The one upside however is that it's the only room on the first floor, so I don't have to reside near the people I so actively dread.

In other news, I was surprised to see just how much feedback I got on my 4/20 post. Everyone's always got something nice to say on this website, and even those who disagree are respectful about it. This journal has honestly been life-changing. I appreciate those who decide to stop by and read my entries.

Hmmm.... "newlife" doesn't sound that bad for this journal now does it? I've always felt meelife was a little self-centered in tone, although it's supposed to be play-on-words of "my life". Besides, ever since I've started writing again nothing has been quite the same. I'll have to consider a name change.

Until next time...