Alice

my life is a mess that i can't escape
2021-04-23 21:10:17 (UTC)

almost perfect

My mother and I woke up late today. So, we couldn't hear the telephone when my grandmother called me. She also called my mother, but the battery of her phon was dead. Anyway, both of us couldn't talk with her in the morning. Then, I called her back. She can be the most sensitive person. So, I explained the situation to her. Probably, she didn't belive us. She wasn't talking sincerely. Probably, she would talk better if she were talking with my other cousins that I hate.

After talking with my grandmother, I studied and read a lot. In the afternoon, I watched the movie called "Fight Club" Yes, I'm watching it for the first time. One of my friends recommended to me. Actually, I couldn't finish the movie. Because while I was watching it, my brother called me. We talked. By the way, I didn't feel something awkward in this calling. If I were my brother Iı wouldn't know what to do. Becuase I'd have a great life. A great job, girlfirend, salary, etc. (and a great sister :p)
But now, I'm trying to build a better future for me. I think my life is more difficult now, and it will stay same. Because I'm trying to find a story to tell. I always thought that I mustn't talk about my worries, and I mustn't complain. Because there are lots of people who has worse conditions than mine. So, my childhood was about hiding all of my emotions. That's why I wrote a lot, and now I have lots of cringe diaries.

Also, I deleted my blog account. I can't feel ready to share something there. I want to start again and of course finish again when I feel the right energy.

After talking with my brother, I ate dinner. Then, I was going to join an online literature club, but I didn't want to do that. I wrote som of my philosopy term paper. of it is done. By the way, the result of my English quiz, which was yesterday, was explained. I got 39/48. Not so ad I think. At least, better than I thought.


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