👁️ Bandersnatch 👁️
Through the Looking-Glass
Right, you fkn bumholes. I am getting a tad irritated by fuckheads trying to integrate into my world when I am trying to bypass any notion of emotional shit with guys right now. Like seriously, just because a bit of sunshine has popped out and we ladies (coughs) are wearing lighter clothes or whatever, that doesn't mean we want to sit on your dicks. Comprendez? Just because you've been hibernating in lockdown, playing with your balls, watching porn and homed an unhealthy addiction watching pornstars stick their tongues out and beg for it doesn't mean every woman walking does. Earlier, I was ready to lamp a guy in the co-op; I don't like violence, I am not violent, but I was thinking about it. This fuckhead did this crap in front of my daughter, ugh, just don't.
You know, today they've been coming from all sides, the boss, Ed, Paul. I am refocusing my energy back to what I control, my work, my business, my life, which is calm, sweet and safe and also sex, lol (also, part of my calm lol) Where I want to remain, and you know what? When those guys knew I was no longer dating 'my guy'. Baring in mind, they knew my initial intentions were to get involved with him; they made no comments about what they thought, and it makes me chuckle that I know in their heads they think I'm vulnerable right now. They think because he ghosted me, I'm crying in my pillow and feeling rejected, noooooooo, I am not, way far from it, lol. I want his sex, yes, I miss him (sex) lol, he was good company too, but they think, "Quick! Pounce!", ugh, fuckheads. I'm not jumping on any of your dicks.
It's a fucked up world.
Anyway, Ed has been messaging, and I have not as much. Ed says he has fucked women before behind his wife's back and compartmentalises it. The cheeky shit said, "I'll teach you" Uuuuhhh! Hahaha, teach me? Oh, shut the fuck up! I'd wipe the floor with you and your compartmentalising and most likely will find it a challenge fucking up your compartmentalising and shoving it up your arse while you wank rigorously over me every night next to your wife in bed. What a twatty thing to say; it did make me chuckle to myself. The guy shares every thought, desire and grain of grass with me as it is; once he is up my arse and wanting me to pee on him, there be no compartmentalising until I back away. Haha!
So, yeah. No challenge there, just destruction, and I am not about destruction. It sounds like I am blowing my own trumpet; I am, but I'm not; I've just been unfortunate and fortunate to have lived through destructive people around me. I picked things up, learnt how they destroy homes, hearts, lives and more.
I might change my mind, though. It's a possibility when you're me. Ms Contradictory. Wears the badge with pride. He openly admits he has narc traits, no sweety, your just a big-headed lying dickhead, even if you're my friend. I tend to have a lot of dickheads as my friends, but I am a dickhead too, so I need dickheads in my life.
Anyhoo, right earlier! I swear to god, that riled me, especially after this week of men and their tactics. So I've picked up my daughter from school, I'm feeling tired, worked my little tush off today back n forth from the day job to business blah blah blah, also phoning Amazon and politely asking, where and when the hell am I going to get a notice from them that I can get my store up and running. I've got the business account/portal all ready to rock n roll, just waiting for their homemade store thingy to get me in on the inside.
I am digressing again.
My girl and I are on our way home, and I pull into the co-op to get a bottle of water for tomorrows meet-up with a bunch of strangers, lol, in this group I joined. As I pull in, a roofing van is parked in one of the spaces next to us. A guy gets out and stares intensely. It made my daughter uncomfortable not because he was looking at her; he was eyeing me. I rolled my eyes, "Stay here, babe", I said to my daughter, just getting some bottled water.
I walk into the co-op; he's already in there. I don't see him in the aisle I walked up. Good! Grab my water, grab a monster can for my daughter. Head for the self-service checkout, he walks around the corner, knocks into me, and I drop the water; he picks it up. Im thinking, don't say a word to me. He just grins with intent. He was a roofer, he wasn't bad looking, actually, but he was full-on looking at me. Uncomfortably so. I walk to the PayPoint, scan the drinks; before I could pay, the machine speaks, "Please wait for the cashier to confirm your age" it was because of the monster drink, stop kids buying it. I turn around, and he is standing in a queue for the cashier and staring at me from behind; he says, "It's because you look so young", and smiles with that intent in his eyes again. FFS. I didn't even laugh, smile or cringe. I just thought, whatever, lol.
The cashier zapped something so that I could pay. I walked out of the shop, he comes out as Im getting in my car, and keeps looking, puts stuff on his driver's seat and looks more as Im reversing out, and my daughter said, "Omg, that is sooooo creepy what he's doing!" THEN, he blew a kiss to me. Oh, that did it for my daughter; she yapped, "Ewwww!" and I laughed and said, "And that right there! Is the real world."
Fkn dick. To be fair, if it wasn't today that happened and he hadn't done that so openly in front of my daughter, I might've found it funny.