Gentleman ♀

God? Is that you? Probably not.

Hello, mah peeps,

So my family isn't super religious or anything but we pray every night and go to church once in a while. Last week while praying I realized something, God doesn't hear you. God doesn't care. He just doesn't, it's impossible for one being to hear all of our prayers, and even if he did it's impossible for him to care about all of them. How do we even know God is a dude? No one's ever seen him or asked him so how the heck do we know? Does God even have a gender? And he's always depicted as looking human but there's like no chance he looks like a human. Maybe he looks like a snake with the head of an out-of-water blobfish and three cat legs. We don't know and it doesn't seem like anyone cares. My mom says "it's called faith" but honestly, there are so many plotholes. God is depicted as everything good but then why do Christians have a holiday where they put sheep's blood on their door. Anyone can go to heaven as long as they believe in him. What if you donated to charities, were a nurse, adopted a child, and fostered dogs but you happened to be a Wicca or something. Nope, your going to hell sorry for ya! That's just messed up. There's this story I heard while in church and it was about this dude who God commanded to walk for days on end so he could KILL HIS ONLY SON in a specific place to "prove his dedication to god". What the hell god? One of the 10 commandments is to respect your mother and father and another one is to be kind to your neighbors yet in the bible Jesus says that in order to be a prophet you have to hate your mother, father, sister, brother, wife, children, and even your own life. How does that make sense? OkAy GoD, wHaTeVeR yOu SaY. It just seems stupid ya know? No one's ever seen God or heard him with proof and more than a few cereal killers say that God told them to do it so what if god just got bored and told some dude to murder people. We don't know! It's just baffling how so many people just give themselves up to something they don't even know is real! It's just stupid. I believe that there's some sort of afterlife but heaven and hell? Maybe we all go to the same place. I like to think that there are different universes where anything is possible and that when you die you remember all your past lives and maybe you can pick a universe to go to. Just like a place where everything meets and merges into one. Or maybe there are different heavens for each universe. Honestly, if I knew that I could go to another universe when I died I'd commit suicide right now, just jump out the window onto the concrete and go somewhere where life is exciting. I wanna be the main character of an adventure story with drama and death and 100% the supernatural. Just the idea of vampires and ghosts and werewolves and angels and everything being real makes me want to go there. I know this sounds stupid but the show Supernatural sounds amazing. I don't even have to be the main character I'd settle for a hunter that gets mentioned maybe once to drive the plot forward. I just want to get away from school and my family and friends. Whatever I guess I'm stuck here, for now, I might as well enjoy it. I'll write again soon.

~Gentleman