Living Without Lighting
A Very Sober 4/20
I spent my 4/20 exactly the way I wanted to, not partaking and instead celebrating how long I've stayed away from weed (for the most part). I've only had one puff of pot since February 26, and I couldn't be better. No more catatonic days of perpetual haze, no more second-guessing my feelings over the borderline manipulative relationship I was roped into with my "friend" and his cousin. Everything is clearer now, and while I still encounter challenges that make me stumble I only become wiser and more experienced as a result. I may not have the all the answers I need, but I'm not as afraid to go out and actively search for them. If that makes any sense.
Not going to lie, I felt a pang in my heart seeing everyone celebrate today over social media. If addiction had never been an issue for me, I'd probably come over to one of these parties and smoke it up with my peers, only to spend the rest of the night laughing to myself in a corner of the room. At the same time however, it got me thinking: what could these people have accomplished within the timeframe they spent blazing it up? Perhaps they could've knocked out a few more homework assignments, or more appealingly, done something they enjoyed that improves themselves, even if that something's as simple as reading or taking a walk. Hell, even playing video games you're improving in a way. I by no means condone those that decide to celebrate this holiday, as if done with moderation it's virtually harmless. However it's no surprise to me that those who were the most adamant to celebrate their festivities were the ones that post about weed all the time. I hope they find the courage and willpower within themselves to break away from that elusive drug.
I'll finish this entry with perhaps my favorite quote regarding pot.
"Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but… well, son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored. And it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything."
- Randy Marsh
Until next time...