Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
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2021-04-20 17:31:56 (UTC)

We are not ok!

Listening to: Life is beautiful - SixxAm
There is nothing stronger than a woman who has rebuilt herself" Hannah Gadsby
Good Evening!🌙
Dang the weather can switch in the blink of an eye. Yesterday I was wearing shorts and flip-flops, today I am in yoga pants and a cardigan lol It is now snowing! We are under a snow watch, they say 5cms, it's far better than the initial 20 they were calling for lol. It won't's Canada after all lol. Welcome!

I have always prided myself on being Canadian. I still am proud but our province (much less country) is in dire straights right now. We are on our 3rd lockdown. Our government has really screwed up this whole thing. I have my opinion on this whole pandemic situation but it's not something I will get into. I am not getting the vaccine. My body my choice. I know a few people who have had serious side effects from it. My doctor who has been my doctor forever (and I trust explicitly) does not recommend me to get it due to a few health issues I have dealt with in the past. As it is, we are now lockdown into our own province. We cannot travel past our Ontario border. We are not to leave our homes unless it's for essential purposes. For the first part of this pandemic, I did not struggle as much, the second, my empathy really came to play as I felt so many other's emotional and mental pain. This third? Has been very difficult and for the first time, I cried over it. I was watching videos of how some other countries are living life as normal and here we are, afraid to go outside in fear of facing a fine. That video was followed by the upside-down Canadian flag at the Niagara Falls border sending SOS to the US. Tiktok has been helpful as it's nice to see people keep their sense of humor during this time. That said, there are lots now posting asking if we (as in Ontarians) are ok.. We aren't ok.. we won't be until something is done. We need help. Our government has made a mess of this. I am over this whole thing.

I had an old friend reach out to me last night. We texted for about an hour and then we jumped to the phone and chatted another two. It was nice to catch up😊Time just flew by. Once I was done, I laid in bed and read until my sleepy pill kicked in lol. I fell asleep quickly and slept through the night. I woke at 5:30 and went down to my gym and worked out for 90 minutes. Showered and cleaned my house. My best friend E showed up with a Starbucks and a hug. Was nice to see him. It's amazing how when you have a friend like that, you can reconnect after months like not a day has passed. I am blessed. He was on his way to work. It was a good day, I vegged in my bed a few times during the day as it is so dreary out. I read more and soaked up puppy cuddles until I had to get up and make dinner. I did watch the George Floyd sentencing. There are no winners in that situation. It's sad all around. My heart goes out to the families on both sides. I just pray there are no riots as they are expecting. This world is in enough turmoil.

Emotionally? I am feeling really good. I am on track with eating and working out again and feeling a bit stronger in my workouts. I had a good therapy session with my shrink and it felt good to unload, we went an hour over. We discussed my split and at one point he asked who ended it. I paused because truthfully. I think we both did. Every argument we had he threatened it or brought it up. I never did. I told him the last time he brought it up, if you bring it up again..make sure it's what you want because it was not fair to keep threatening me with it. So this time, he brought it up, we hit a crossroads and we parted ways. I admitted to my shrink how I kind of pulled back a year and a bit ago when I found out he never left online dating websites. I knew he was still there and has never left. I did not confront him as I was afraid to, I knew he would go off. I stayed quiet and I stopped feeling he was my twin flame. I never brought it up again. Anyways, good therapy sesh haha. I am having another appointment on Friday. We agreed to move on from that topic as I feel there is nothing left to say.

Tonight? Puppy cuddles and a movie again, I am off again tomorrow, yay! I will be posting more entries from my private diary soon. For now? time to log off, "Hold on to the night" by Richard Marx just came on so that's my cue lol (Song holds memory).. time to clean the kitchen from dinner and make myself a tea.

Have a wonderful evening! ❤️