Live my life♥

Same as last year

what is bothering me is the thing that history is repeating. what was happening last year is happening this year too.. sister pregnant, corona is again at its peak, summers, lockdown, all about my sister, me unemployed, every damn thing is repeating and it's cringy
Nothing is new. Everything is same. We have to stay here at sis place now to tc of her. That's making me cringy again as I wanted my own time and space.
I want things to be about me, I want my job, I want my money, I want a guy my man, love life. But no I have a zero life.
I met a guy and we are in talking terms but am not sure about anything as of now, I like talking to him though. He is settled, smart, sensible.
Am helpless, clueless and everything less... It bores me to death. I don't know what future is. I don't know when am going to get a guy, get married everything has to be started from the scratch. But it's just not starting. I donno what do I do? Look for a guy here or in the US, look for a job do I start with some course whatbif it doesn't work. Phewww.... Everything is a mess right now.. 🤦‍♀️fuckedup since corona