If I die today
Looking at May's budget already since mothers day, dads bday and my sisters bday and my littlest brothers has abirthday too but thats irrevelant as he likes to ssuppose I dont exist. For my mom I'd really like to get her aging backwards workout dvd's but its going to be a min of 30$ its looking like to get something new. There is a cool set for almost 55$ . Im not sure but next week I'll start ordering gifts one week at a time get them on the way streetch the budget. Kinda sucks I might have to get her something diffrent but I just think she may benifit and might actually be able to sustain these sorta workouts. IDK. Yesterday was overwhelming walking there was like crowds of peoplenwhen I went on my walk mostly frisbee golf I guess and they had set up even more stations so like they were throwing across the road too so dealing with people cars, and disc was too much unexspected it was olny like 10am but anyhow I didnt get far bc screw it it was taking more peace away than I was getting. Last night We watched the happening while drinking Arbour Mist fruit wine after fast food dinner was tacotime. I Think I did most the drinking its olny 6percent thou and well Ive cleaned out a whole bottle myself before with not problem. I was in bed by 10 after he left he was washing his dog when we started to text good night. I think it was 9 when he left I showered n stuff and balh blah. I was was suprise we had sex it was good but speedy which didnt stop me from being sastified but he was very attentive too me spening time right before I didnt really know it was foreplay lol I knew he was tired and wasnt sure if this was a one sided ordeal or what we were snuggling and well then it was naked time I knew. So Guess I'm akward like that . He was happy with it too so guess we're just easy to please. Anyhow I'm not gonna die of lack of sex but who knows maybe the sex has consquences althou I'm steralised and I still am unsure about the hsv thing since well I was diagonised with they TY thing then when they retested it was untraceable but I'm so not sure. He knows I had that and that I havent had issues or symptions that I know of and I choose to believe the last dr who said well if its not determinable you problay dont have it. honestl sadly I never had him tested I never had JK tested last year. so IDK but its all sorta a sham anyways I dont hold any pride in my sex life as far as my heart isnt pure I wish I was married and could do it right but I've settled and accepted it . The budget is concerning me a little but I'm not on the brink of debt but eventually theres gonna be another fee for atty. I'm anxious about a lot. Oh about the sleep it was from about 10-7 so I guess good enough hours. Ive been using the warm mist humidifier I asked nDea yeasterday I told him the water gets so dirty I was looking at those cleaning fish but its not compatable and the cleaning sticks I found had a warning on them about toxicity . He suggested adding perioxide to the water so I'm happy with that solution seems like a safer bet so thank goodness for that advice. I'm wanting maple syrup so going to have oatmeal with maple and blueberries after this I've had my first kuerig coffee think I'll make pourover wheil oatmeal is cooking. Got a few chores today and errands maybe IDK. If I should die or become incompant I guess I would want my mom toget started on one of the workouts so someon can spend 50bucks or so on that. Otherwise guess I'm still the same. WHo knows maybe I'll convince myself since I really htink its good for her to spend on it next week.