Scream Above the Sounds
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2021-04-16 21:20:58 (UTC)

Playtime is Over

Three weeks have absolutely flown by. It's back to university for me on Monday for the final hurdle. When I say 'back to uni', of course I still mean online classes. I think most universities are beginning to have students back on campus but I think ours is planning to see the year out online, which makes sense. There isn't a great deal left to do. I think it's 6 weeks and then year one is over, which is crazy to me. I think covid has just made the last year or so feel so dull. I think the way I live my life probably doesn't help. Not a great deal has changed for me with lockdown because I'm always in my bedroom anyway. Admittedly even I'm fed up at this point and do wish I could go and see people and spend some time outside, but it's just the way it is. Days, months and the last year is totally meshed and honestly feels like a distorted reality at times. What were we even talking about before COVID-19 happened? Brexit probably.

So yeah, back to uni and I'll sit an exam on Law and Ethics and then I don't really know what else is left to do. It's been a much needed break and I've been very lazy, but in a nice way. I finished watching Making a Murderer with M because she had never seen it before, and we're currently watching something called 'Dark Tourist' on Netflix now which is pretty interesting. Aside from that, I resubbed to WoW (shame on me) and have been doing some fun stuff in that, just achievements and the like. I just resubbed for a month out of pure boredom. I feel like everybody I know has a busy life so they don't really have as much time as me. So I guess WoW seemed like the only option to busy myself and not feel so lonely.

I'm looking forward to going back to uni though. It's nice to progress and feel like you're doing well, and I have done well. I don't think I give myself enough credit. I often feel like I'm in these situations down to luck, rather than hard work. It's going to feel really nice to finish the first year. I just hope for a normal summer. I've been listening to a lot of music lately that has reminded me of nightlife and I miss it. Although at the age of 30, I don't really know if I have what it takes to drink the copious amounts of vodka and disaronno I did back in the day, but I certainly would give it a shot. I think a friend of mine will likely plan a garden party or something so that'll be nice. I'm seeing him next Saturday I believe so we'll probably have a chat about organising something for the summer.

I'm a bit sad that I won't be able to go away for the summer like I initially planned. To be honest, it never seemed likely but a part of me was still hopeful it would be okay. I don't really know when I'll be allowed to go, but it's looking impossible that it's going to be this year, which really sucks. It sucks having to reassure somebody that things will be okay and this is a storm that just has to be weathered. Long distance is something that I've never done and I suppose this is the biggest challenge. It's not money that is an issue, it's a deadly virus. It's just crazy. So yeah, I don't really know what the plan is. M was supposed to come and visit me during these 3 weeks off but it was just an impossible ask with the current state of the world, and I had plans to go there in July ideally. I don't even know when I'll have the vaccination, let alone be able to actually go there, and it is upsetting.

My mum has just come into the room and told me that my grandfather has been having chest pains so my dad has rushed to see if he's okay. I think an ambulance has been called. My grandfather is pretty old, he must be late 80s. I'm not super close with my dad's side of the family but I really hope he'll be okay. My mum thinks maybe it's his angina or something but I don't know. It's a concerning thought, for sure. I didn't expect the entry to end this way to be honest. I'm a bit lost for words. Praying for you, Gramp.


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