If I die today
Ad 2:
2021-04-16 08:59:10 (UTC)


Yesterday after a short visit with nDea I ended up in bed by 7 with a headache lights out blinfold cover my eyes. I took a flexirl about 630p to help it was a mostly left sided headache pounding behind the eyes and that whole side of my face just ached. A little on the right oo but the left was makeing my queezy I was suprised the flexril stayed down. so I got out of bed a little after 7this morning Im really slow heavy feeling like sleepish still. my face still hurts. I just stretched out for relaxation so . I've had all my vitimains I'm on coffee cup 3 from my 32 oz press. my left upper stomach kinda feels pressuring burning which I think could be since my diet has been highly fatty lately. Yesterday I was suprised with nDea visiting around 415 bc he texted me at 33oish and I had just started the rice for my chicken and brussel sprout dinner bc I was startving so I told him 415. We grabbed coffee took the dog for a walk. I smoked once and dam near choked myself out so yeah that was a badd idea. Yesterday was a slow day overall I cleaned up the bathroom. I did 30min running I was supper like dried out the whole time I was eacger for water I have not mastered cooridinating water drinking with runnin so I drink water aftere I'm cooled down and hydrate hydrate in adavce, I want to run today so tryin to push throw and I need about an hour or so to let the coffee and food settle. We will see. I have a date planned tonight. nDea's housemate is gettin wacky she he says she took his cologne yesterday the one that she had given which who cares but point being she's probally gonna be taking a lot of stuff over the next few weeks. She doesnt realize what she has he went to get her a bed and tv yesterday they went shopping. He's really seeing to it she's taken care of before the move but she;s such an ass. I honestly think she's naracist and well she is wicked It blows my mind how she has weoponised thier daughter and granddaughter. I know he's no saint but I think she's abusive. She commented that id I was to attend their family cmaping trip she was gonna mull him right in front of me. My opion how embarassing but also I'd like to point out thats sexual assualt. Of course nDea wont go to that exsplain but I freakin hate people that are abusive and manulitplicve. Irony is in 3 months maybe we;ll be best friends. IDK I'm trying to stay out of it. I'm worried about nDea and really think she's gonna take him for all he's worth but I also have to keep in my mind everything he has has nothing to do with me either he is responible for his budget and what he earned I dont need a say and I shouldnt think I do. so it's just weird when he tells me stuff bc I dont want to feel entitiled and I dont want to hold him responible for my future I've survived this long why should I count on him now? I need to be self suffient bc in reality theres no abouslute promise of future for us. I'm thinking thou these next few weeks are gonna be hell and she;s gonna make plans for him like a puppet and IDK how much he's gonna stand up to her. IDK wicked people offend me I need a chill pill on it. He is a man he can handle it. oh about the headaches anyway I did a sinus rince after running I do know I have a devatied septum the ENT told me last time I sometimes feel the sinus rinse going iinto my eyes also so IDK what that meansbut maybe the rince triggered a headache. My diet has been awaful. Also it was more windy and dusty thant I cared for yesterday and i have allergies. my sleeps been all wacked out I've been clowning around polluting myself. I'm sorta just considering it fact I doo like to drink . But how do I do that reasonably? That's all the insight into my life that needs to be shared today