I have come to the conclusion ..
I have come to the conclusion that I am a perfectionist and procrastinator( they both start with p), and these two things definitely don't go hand in hand( euphemism). Plus I also grew up too fast and too slow.
I have always entertained the idea that I am different from others. That others have to choose paths in life but that I kind of go in circles and zig zag and change between paths, sometimes even travelling in the shrubbery. But I always come back in time to answer some person who might be looking for me.
All in all I think too much about myself, and all of thinking is about how bad I am. I am almost tired of the me, me, me in my thoughts.
I did try to think about my mother but unless I gather the courage to ask her what the fuck is wrong with her( which is never) I can only guess, and guessing isn't that fun.
So I guess I am writing this entry because it is the night before my next exam and my procrastinator instincts are kicking in. I am freaking out, not about tomorrow because English and math are relatively easy, but about the day after tomorrow. Physics and Economics, a combination of two horribly tough subjects. In the beginning of the year I actually liked economics, I got the highest marks in the exam, but then my studies deteriorated. In the beginning of the year I also thought God was 'real' real, that sex was a sin and I didn't know how to masturbate with my fingers.
We are getting away from the point. The point is that, leave your insecurities here and keep mummy's phone for backup hotspot so you don't mess up like you did in Hindi exam.
Good night. I am going to try and revise for math( I had the whole day, the whole week, the whole year, but no, it is only now I look at my textbook)