edd

Scream Above the Sounds
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2021-04-04 05:18:23 (UTC)

Tired of Being Tired

I feel exhausted. It's 5:18am as I write this, I wanted to go to sleep hours ago. I suppose I'm just lazy and can't be bothered to move from my PC chair. I do genuinely feel tired a lot of the time, which is fine I guess as my holidays have finally kicked in with university anyway. I guess I'm allowed to be a bit of a slob and lazy at this stage. It just doesn't feel good, the kind of lazy I'm talking about. I feel sluggish, things already feel like groundhog day with covid and lockdown, but things feel even more boring right now. I've been waking up about 2-3pm the last couple of days and I dunno, I just feel gross. Everything just feels so repetitive at the minute. I'm going to have to look at making some changes next week. I promised one of my friends I would start going out and about a bit more and doing a bit of walking. I've been two or three times but it's usually on a trip to the shop or something. I need to go out purely for the sole purpose of doing the walk, not errands. I want to start running again but with this cough, I just don't think it's a good idea.

Sleeping can be quite rough here at times too, especially when my sister shows up. I think we are both just generally loud people. I'm loud when I'm on the computer or in discord and chatting with my friends, and she is just loud full stop. Not even just verbally, everything she does. Thunderfooting up the stairs, slamming doors. God, I really do sound like an old man complaining about things like that. But yeah, she was here earlier. She may even be spending the night here, I have no idea. Her life is a mystery to all of us. She didn't even thank me for giving her £400 in regards to her council tax nonsense. I'm not even sure how that is progressing. I think my mum is continuing to pay £50 a week until it's resolved. It's annoying that she is being bailed out of this, because a lesson needs to be learned here. Admittedly she needed the help and I imagine she needed it fast before they started repossessing things, but it's a bit of a pisstake. My parents don't deserve to have bailiffs knocking on the door asking for her. It's all so tiresome.

I know I sound moany and grumpy but I think it's just tonight. Arsenal got destroyed by Liverpool and honestly, it was such a shambolic display of football, it totally ruined my night. I've just felt out of it today. Nothing has felt enjoyable and I guarantee I'll have a shit nights sleep too. One of my best friends will return from work soon and we plan to meet up, as we're allowed to visit peoples gardens with the lockdown restrictions being changed. So we're gonna have a few drinks, which is something I desperately need. It's been a hot minute since I've had a disaronno. I'll have 5 more weeks in university after the holidays and then who knows what summer is going to hold. I initially planned a visit to Vegas but that is completely out of the question now (thanks covid). I think it'll be a boring summer, probably a nerdy one. Depending on when Blizzard get their shit together and release WoW's 9.1 patch I'll probably be sinking a lot of time into that and then FFXIV are releasing an expansion later on in the year, so there will be plenty to do in the world of gaming.

I just think I'm at my breaking point with covid now. I'm very much a homebody but even I'm at the stage now where I think it's chipped away at me for so long, I'm just losing it. I'm just so tired of everything.

Edd


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