Justwhatever

Sadnant
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2021-04-02 21:30:36 (UTC)

Living room literally smells ..

Living room literally smells like something's died.

I'm so frustrated at how lethargic I am from detoxing.

I just want to be able to do shit again. I want to attend the protests.

I'm still not used to all the changes M made and I just want to watch Netflix.

I feel so fucking alone. I feel so stupid for feeling like this.

I want to die. Ideation is higher than it's been in a while.
I know I'm doing the right thing but fuck. I'm sick and tired of being tired.

It's just kratom...
But it's not just that. And I'm not convinced it's PMS either because my tits don't hurt.
It's the loneliness.
It's always that loneliness and fear of being alone and useless, invisible.

And fuck everyone who thinks I have to be happy for them or healthy for them. I don't owe you shit, M, you insane cunt.
And fuck you G, you privileged prick. Oh look at you so intelligent and charismatic and attractive but what the fuck do you really KNOW about life?

Wish I lived alone.
Just want my own place to call my own, my shit, my responsibility, mine.

Fuck everyone who abandoned me.
Fuck everyone who thought they knew me when they didn't know shit.
Fuck everyone who could've helped me and didn't.
And fuck me for just... Me and my stupid fucking retarded brain. factory error, premature, should've died at birth.


I should be fucking dead it's not like I exist anyway


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