2021-04-01 01:49:04 (UTC)

it's been a bit of A Day ..

it's been a bit of A Day especially at one point while all jdhdusuwjesksk from WD you re-remember something you'd rather not.

And then you re-remember why listening to people fucking next to you bothers you, sometimes, times like this when you're a little more sensitive, more attuned to your traumas; the pain of emotional wounds rather than the healing from them.

It's not just about having an important phonecall the next day noon, it's The Great Trashfire Your Life Became During 2018.

The time you became sober for a goal, reward, help, solid reason that never fucking materialised and you gave up.
But it was OK because you found Jennifer, and became her Needy.
And in some ways you were also possessed by something. But not like she was. Didn't revel in being possessed by alcohol and sexual trauma like she seemed to be.

It's funny though. Can't help but listen to George have sex with whatever woman he has. And now his snoring.
I swear he wasn't this vocal last time.

I wonder... Lot was pretty vocal when he fucked me. We both were. But I do find a lot of men act stoic during sex, will maybe quietly grunt a couple times.
I assume it's mostly a straight-guy thing, because my bisexual partners have been different.
So maybe he's like, oh, men CAN make a bit more sound during sex, it IS hot.

Idk. Random thoughts while I can't sleep even while full of downers. Legs feel too warm but I need something on them.

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