If I die today
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2021-03-27 06:43:12 (UTC)

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This morning on you tube I found fullerton informer 2 the video that was most recent was on google nest and some sorta sleep device that is now stealing oxgen in your home. I guess the post was last week but I usually dont even know how to find the fullerton informer 2 I get just the fullerton informer so this also mentioned our duties and stuff and I guess I never thought of ivesting in protecting myself and actually applying my budget to get the spefic items needed to protect myself from the enemy. Anyhow I just bought more cell phone camera covers as mine keep falling off anf I just threw a stupid sticker over my fron camera and never replaced the last cover when the back camera cover came off but theres much more to do. I gotta protect my soul and heart and mind and what kinda crap I'm watching. So what does it mean to follow Jesus its gonna cost. Well I guess I gotta reall start working on hitting that power button and gettin bus in prayer. Also my love for others and my neighbor I'm not really redeeming my time here on earth. I'm sorta encouraged to actually do more and spend less on crap and self sabbatage handing myself over the enemy and spend more on standing in truth and light and protecting not just my own others as well. Anyhow so speaking of nieghbors last night just after midnight it sure did sound like some "domestic violence" broke out above me it last about 10min . I didnt know what to do I kinda give up I did pray thou but meh who wants my prayers and IDK what good they do bc I'm kinda a turd engolfed in this world. I smoked yesterday weed and i tried pretty hard to keep my lungs functioning so I got it pretty good that was like at 5ish. Then ate chinese food and drank my buzz ball and then most of nDea's bc well he wanted to try them and found he didnt like his so I basicly had 2 and he didnt shake his either ugh. And thats pretty much me of course late there was sex after we played uno and oh yeah guess who makes honorable mention on my date. I dont get it this clown had wanted to go home to give Ecarri his left over chinese bc she was so worried about what she was gonna eat while he was out. He wanted me to go with him I mean just sit in the car he ran the food in and ran out but whatever. Then he said she had said she already ate a hotdog by golly the woman has figured out how to feed herself?! IDk I think he's setting a standard she has his pinned. I told him as far as I know shes abusve.. omg his answer was..its not like shes beatin me or something... __ whatever I cant help this clown but I love him so we will see where things go. I had cramps in the day yesterday so I thought we'd go east on the sex but well we got going and I was happy and healthy so I told him have at it I told him I'm not crampin you can go for it. I'm on trying to shower more after sex idk if that actally helps anything considering its all up in there but I showered after he left hours after the main event. I had taken a bath in the morning. My diet was pretty high fat yesterday and I think my liver hurts. I have some right upper pain. but it started last night with the neasua that passed . I have been getting those red moles like crazy lately too and they're driving me craxy I cant even spell it but lets try cherry amoglia's I have mutliple ones just popping up outta nowhere now all at once so I've been doucing myself in ACV every time after I shower. IDK I can hope it goes away but its kinda not attractive. well I have had one keurgic coffee the weather is perfect today. My love has his granddaughter coming over today so I'm not sure if we will be going for an AM coffee or walk or if were gonna have an evening affair or if maybe he'll pass on me. THe later is highly unlikely. been thinking about my mom and sister and her family. Just htinking I guess thats love for you. I need to eat and watch truth unedited try to get myself right with the LORD and who knows. Not sure what the big goal is life apart from the LORD but I'm so missing that just trying to survie I'm defeated bored embarssed ashamed and well lazy which doesnt help