เผบโ™ก๐“œ๐“ผ. ๐“Ÿ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ด๐”‚โ™กเผป

โ™ก ๐‘…๐‘’๐’ถ๐“ ๐’ฏ๐’ถ๐“๐“€ โ™ก ๐น๐’ถ๐“ƒ๐“‰๐’ถ๐“ˆ๐“Ž โ™ก ๐’ฎ๐“‰๐‘œ๐“‡๐’พ๐‘’๐“ˆ โ™ก ๐’ซ๐‘œ๐‘’๐“‰๐“‡๐“Ž โ™ก
2021-03-24 07:48:00 (UTC)

Still Shitty

Still shitty weather.
Have to close windows and get the heat back on. Gets down to 33 tonight.
Glad I never finished packing my winter stuff up. Started but never finished it.
Got my music going this morning.
Nothing from Indio in over 16 hours. Think he’s pissed he can’t come here this weekend. That I don’t need him. That I remind him he mistrusted me. Till he accepts that responsibility, nothing will change and the option for OOP will always be there. He keeps trying to put it on me, I’m not taking it. I was faithful. I never cheated. I never did text inappropriate with anyone. My flaw was the lack of communication on my end. Was from fear. I take responsibility for that.
Still nothing from TheDevil either. Don’t know why that bugs me or surprises me.. Just thought I could have him fall in love with me, see what all I had to offer and it was going to be enough, I was wrong.
Anyway,
It’s chilly today. I have four fucking appointments today. Two too many in my opinion.
But, am tired today, bit sore, fibromyalgia is acting up because of the weather.
So, will close here.
I’m praying I get my stimulus checks, please. I really need to pay my credit cards and stuff off from Christmas.

Till later...
๐Ÿ’‹SWAK

930am
Indio sent a message saying good morning, that I spoiled him, he still has my photos in his car. Was surprised.
Y’know, I will never be in love with him. I just don’t have it in me. I’m in love with someone who doesn’t love me the same, hell, he doesn’t love me at all...yeah....someone known as GH. I don’t think I will ever erase him.
Don’t know what indio and I are doing. Trying to be friends? I don’t know.

Will discuss everything with JL later today.

I’m going to get some stuff done.....want to look for my oil pencils and stuff.

Till later....
Dislike the nasty weather outside. Cut the heat back on...


1015am
Indio called at 1000am. We talked 19 min. He slipped and said I love you when we hung up. I didn’t say a fucking word.
He still claims I cheated. Even if it was for female friends on a date site.
He won’t admit he was wrong. Just me. Typical. I don’t know what the hell we are going to accomplish.
He hasn’t paid child support in 2 months. Claims he wasn’t working. But he was.
I don’t believe anything that comes out of his mouth.
I don’t know why he kept my photos up all this time. 3 months broken up and my photos are still in his car the same places I put them up almost 8 months ago.
So confused by everything....
I just wish sometimes, he’d just come kill me.
Only thing I’m not confused about, is I will never be in love with him.
I ran across TheDevils photos, and immediately cried. Such a dumbass to hold onto him. I would have continued to have him on that pedestal he was on. He was the king of my world.

*sigh*

Going to grab a shower.

๐Ÿ’‹SWAK




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