I Hate Middle School
So since corona we’ve been doing this thing at school called hybrid schooling where we’re divided by last name into A-L and M-Z and we switch between in person schooling and online schooling every other day. A-L gets Mondays and Wednesdays then M-Z gets Tuesdays and Thursdays, alternating Fridays. But this week on Monday we finally all came back to in person school everyday and let me just say you don’t know how antisocial you are until your school doubles (or more) in size and it’s filled to the brim with no one you know. I have to admit though I think the worst part is the kids you do know and seeing them for the first time in a year and a half. It’s honestly torture because do you say hi? Do you pretend not to know them? Do you act like you just talked yesterday and nothing happened? I don’t know if it’s just me but it’s surprisingly hard even to just say hi. I’ll get to the point now I guess, you remember Michael from a few entries ago right? I’m guessing not so I’ll give you the rundown but first I would like to make it clear that he’s not my crush and never was, he’s just a good friend. Anyways he’s been my friend since 3rd grade. We rode the same bus, were in the same class, and had a similar sense of humor so it was nice. About a year ago I got his number and we talked over text a lot but eventually we stopped talking and only really talked when I was giving him a message from my other friend or something. This week is the first time I’ve seen him in about a year and a half and the first time I’ve talked to him in about 4 months but it feels like it’s been years. I don’t have a crush on him and we’ve been friends forever but I just can’t seem to say hi to him. I know I sound stupid but I just kinda freeze up and my brain stops working whenever I want to talk to him. I saw him in the halls today and I was going to say hi but I’m scared that... I don’t know why I’m scared actually I just am. Maybe it’s my anxiety getting to me, I’ve made eye contact with him in the halls but we just stared at each other for a few seconds and walked away. I should have said something but I didn’t so I’ll try again tomorrow. Well I guess that a just another thing to add to my stresses you know? I’ve really gotta work on my social skills if I’m gunna survive middle school. Another quick thing is that yesterday Avery told me that she had another crush. This isn’t usually important and is a normal thing but this time she said it was a girl and that peaked my interest because 1: I thought she was straight till now and 2: what girl could she have a crush on. There are 3 girls that I think it could be and I guess I’ll give you my reasons for each because I’m bored :/
Kaitlyn: Avery and her have been really good friends before 4th grade (I don't know exactly when) and they spend a lot of time together. They were in the same girls out troop for a while and we were all in the same class since 4th. Her and Avery seem to have gotten a lot closer lately and I think maybe that’s why Avery could have a crush on her.
Kiarra: Kiarra was my friend before Averys and I introduced them at a sleepover a year or two ago. Usually their strangers but ever since they’ve been in the same gym class Avery seems to talk about her a lot. I’ve also noticed that they’ve become pretty good friends throughout that time too so just another reason to like her I guess. Too bad for Avery if she does like Kiarra though cause Kiarras 100% straight (as far as I know) and already has 2 boyfriends right now I believe.
Me TUT: So I don’t mean to sound egotistical or anything here but it does seem to make a bit of sense if I pick out some suspicious details and put it together that way. So I’ve always been Averys punching bag sort of friend where I’d complement her shirt and she’d call mine ugly or she’d jump on my shoulders when I’m not expecting it and almost make me fall down the stairs even though I’ve told her not to 80 million times now but all of a sudden she’s not doing that anymore. Instead she tells me how cute my shirt is or that my face mask matches my outfit perfectly or something like that. She’s also pretty possessive never letting me have a conversation without her in it and she walks with me to every class I have. She’s even willing to ditch her other friends that she made plans to sit with at lunch so she can sit with me and my friends instead. I don’t know what I’d do if it was me... I really don’t want a girlfriend/boyfriend ever. Especially not now.
Well I guess I have to go now... bye!