If I die today
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Today I will need a prompt so my first prompt is who can you really trust. what a great question. before I touch on that my lame comments on health so physically Im alright cant complain nothing abnormal . I got a new neighbor in the old squaters that went to jail the vacancy is filled this guy seemed like his parents were moving him in must be in his 20's he was sorta talking like it might be his first place. seemd like a kid or mentally challanged type. im unsure but I dont think he's a threat havnt actually spoken to him or his family thou I'm avoiding it and I know not to make friends or be nice bc I get the impression this is someone who probaly hasnt had a girldfriend ever and may mistake my niceness. althou I shouldnt judge.. Ok so who can you really trust. I dont hold much real trust in anyone. Even my closest friends I feel I have to censor myself around bc of fear of judgement and sometimes fear of being handed over to the system that is evil. Im tryin to think and even with my love omg man I feel like a fool more and more bc ill be upset putting together pieces of things and find out what he was doing was complete opposite of my assumation . In a good way thou bc I seem have an exspectation of men to be crusty but I exspect the world is crap anyway.. yLindse is close to me and reliable but I still hold back. eAnn I trust but I'm still embarssed as well. iPatt I think well were in diffrent age ranges and maturities and I think she know s I'm nuts so Im not sure . possibly yJud I would trust in a way bc she gets it but I lost her number agian and I know right now she cant handle my burdens too. Regretfully with my family I do not trust them fully. I'm skeptical of some things and I dont trust them not to harm me even if its well intended and in ignorance. I dont trust the police the landlord or the system churches exspecially 509c3's are frauds and scams. I relay on the goverment for everything but I dont assume or trust that any of that is going to be there tommorow and dont get me started on banks or the banking system. Do i trust the LORD well take a look at my life if you just look well its an apparent failure if you look how much privison I've went ahead and dug up for myself that have not helped my soul one bit. I want to trust him that and i want to be loyal and I think Im a wrecking ball in some areas. Also with people i feel abadon sometimes bc of texting if im not texting that sometimes realationships wither and thats that and Im so uncomfortable afraid of people being offended that olny a few people i will actually call. I trust my doctor well provider about 80percent but i know thats all a part of the system and you bet im being profiled even if i dont feel like it. Just be i dont trust much doesnt mean I dont respect thouor appreciate or enjoy people or things. If I could I would like to trust wholly nDea bc thats my love and what kinda relationship is it when there no trust. I would like to have friends I can trust maybe 1 or2 would suffice . Id like to have a safe store and source of news i hold a lot of value in the fullerton informer but it leaves room for skeptism so 90percent maybe same with truth unedited. I guess as a conspiracy theorist well thats the life I lead but in general just as a traumatised adult that has been decieved and let down so hard I'm predisposed to be this catious. Maybe Ill think of someone I fully trust later.