If I die today
Ad 2:
2021-03-11 07:03:00 (UTC)

cost of unjust vodka

Of my own free will and initation I got a bottle of smironoff however your spell it and some cranberyy to drink to take the edge off myself bc yep as exspected the letter from the proscuting attorney was a we cant help you bullshit letter. But get this it was date fro january and mailed march 8. then also they didnt bother to custimize it refrence and case number was totaly left blank. Total bull shit a genernic form letter that they dont have suffient eveidence to press charges. Anyhow I took an awful stupid shop of straight vodka around 5 or 6 toward the ending of my day then i make 1 vodka and cranberry as I watched tv before my bath then movie. I spent around 20dollars for the vodka and juice. I feel fine as far as health. Im on schedule today been awake a while already strecthced and had vitimains and ffod now just chores ahead before the run but I'm easing into chores also babing myself. It was good to meet up wtih eGen yesterday we had a good chat I cant complain I guess they already got thier shots . I miss them but I also know well shit I'm an idiot. So when I got home I read the letter and thought about it and decided its my right to be upset and the system is toal bullshit and sure enough the dingbats upstairs started fightin g you gotta understand this guy dRichar is my age has a girlfriendup there who is I believe she said 23 aFelic . The age driffrenc is ok shes cute shes taller than me but skinny and he's morbibly obese a less than 6ft tall and I hear them on occasion I know he's beating her and I think my diary makes mention somewhere in history of the last time I called the police on them the leasing office bithced me out bc "it wasnt them" and soon as she got to the office his ass was down there to tell her someone called the police on them and his girlfriend was on the couch sleeping.. I hear from nDea that these people are snitches to the office. I have seen aFelic talking to eLauri in the office and I believe they were ratting someone out also the way he hauled ass down there as soon as the office opened that day im sure dick is comfortable with her. Anyhow so I had been upset all freakin day about the unjustice in this world and the system. I choose to be adjectated.. Anyhow I'm calmer today moving on. oh I heard the upstairs neighbors yelling but couldnt make it out but when i went into my closet to clean I hear clearly about something about working in the warehouse alone with a mask. you knew to wear a mask and that this would happen and it was mostly about wearing a mask sound like a c0v1d fight so I believe it was the vile arugment I didnt hear violenve but still that was annoying bc I feel that I know this dude beats her and noone cares I'm not even sure if she cares. Anyhow had some inspiration yesterday that well lets consider these apartments to be a "dark place" do you think that well where theres darkness there must be light too? Roght bc whereever santan is God is right there and the ememy usually attacks Gods work? Idk but what if I'm failing at being a light in a dark place could God have possibly placed people here. Ok I'm so freakin nuts deliourus and maniplative well shit I cant credit God with placing me here I know he's graceful and allowed it but hell IDK if this is where he ever would puropisly put me and I have so much more to do to set aside my own works in the flesh and trust him to really land where he's leading. Anyhow light in a dark place is it possible and even if its not me maybe Gods people have ot be here right God has to have a man here? slept well last night at about 10ish then woke up in time to get the weather and watch tv and be stretcheing by 6. I need to be thinking about why I'm wasting my life and time and why did I spend 20dollars on a feeling I choose to love. What is wrong with me? I"m a turd a jerk a basketcase. I causully mentioned to eGen in conversation the ter boyfriend but he never inquired about who was in my life . so guess thats fine. Just in thinking Egen and his wife are on my adavanded directives and IDk i would want nDea around I think and to be welcomed but I do not feel the need to authorize him right now on the order to make desicions however we never even talked about the directives or anything. Anyhow also side note I guess eCarri (my boyfriends other.. something.. ) got the shot and she's had an upset stomach for these 2 days. IDK but he said theey went to walmart after work and he lost her and she got sick but i mean she;s up n out so whatever. IDK I just think its interesting . eGen was telling me he was exceptionally tired a few days after his 1st jab. mom says everythign hurts after her 1st jab. A little concerning but who cares.. injustice right I saw on the news this 104 or 109 I cant rember spefics so lets say 104 year old. This person was 104 and on the news with family for thier bragging rights about recieving the V. OMG how freakin logical is that has this person not already had a long life. on thier way out the door anyhow and if you had this such precious cure IDK I just feel that if everythi was true and pure that the 100plus year old wouldnt be the highest need. but maybe my htinking is wrong or irrational .. ha crazy conspircy theorist I am . WEll I want to try to handle this day been writing for about a half hour so better well get buzy doing what I do texting and maybe tetris or a game before easing into chores.

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