wedonttalk

Being Sam
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Ezoic
2021-03-09 21:26:33 (UTC)

Aging, Hypochondriac or just plain broken?

My back is fucking killing me. Like I'm talking next level, panicking thoughts in the dark about waking up paralysed from the waist down, hurting.
I'm trying to "man up" like I usually do and am hoping it's just another bad phase that will ease up soon. But it's not getting better. If I sit on the couch with my legs out straight on the poof (footstool- whatever) and then try to lean forward, I get this really sharp pain at the base of my spine and sometimes it travels down my left thigh too. If I want to bend my left leg out of that position, I need to move my right leg first, putting it down onto the floor before trying to move my left leg. Otherwise I get the sharp pains. If I stand up too long, the pain travels down my left leg and I end up with pins and needles in my foot.
Its so shit and its really starting to ruin my day. I want to be out walking with the kids and the dog or be able to have day trips soon once lockdown eases but I can't even drop the kids off at school without getting back to my car and wanting to cry from the pain.
It doesn't help that I've ran out of naproxin and codine so literally all I have left are fricking muscle relaxants and anti spasmatics (are they one and the same?) Either way - I'm getting mardy and it HURTS.

I guess I also just feel helpless and a little resigned too, because they couldn't pick up enough nerve damage or anything else on the MRI so now they just look at me like I'm making it up everytime I go back.


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