If I die today
the investment struggle
yesterday I wathed a little 3hearts church I dont 100percent agree with what was on but one thing did become real and struck me our resources and stewartship what do you choose to invest your time and attention in what are you choosing to put money into. I suppose I know this or knew it but it strikes me that choosing to give crap my attention is a choice and its sorta a contract I'm choosing to put my time into deadweight or whatever. Of course well after that I watched hole in the ground with nDea before well some (he called it A rated ) sex. I woke up around 3 this morning thought I saw 4 but I went to pee and I saw clearly 3 so went back to bed. Got up a little after I think I couldnt bring myself to spend 10 or 15minutes with the LORD. Idk I"m kinda stuck in this work at present I'm youtubeing kind of queens while writing and drinking coffee. Ok so yester we got coffee at circle and I put creamer in it since I had just got done coffee at home I didnt need to strong coffee OMG it was not good had a bad after taste. nDea put creamer in his too but he used like cholate cremer or something he was struggling with the taste also so for local cirlce k 2thumbs down to coffee. We had a short walk in a park that i havnt been too but it was windy so we turned aroun then accomplished grocery shopping at albertsons I had him help read labels so added a few less then organic things that are safe but less costly as asubiste for my usual. We will see how it goes but I want to do better and theres no allergens in the ones he read .so I'm gonna try I might be getting genitlcy mondified :( totaly my idea and my own doing thou i asked him to look at certian products I was willing to comprise. And in other news we stopped at a chinese buffet on the end of my street and omg it was soo gross we got to go but the basic were even bad the rice was crunchy the shrimp was not pealed or devained. I didnt finish my plate.. nDea says he had an upset stomach last night as he was leaving.. (which is after the sx but even before during the movie I did here his stomach being vocal). I have to call my doc today to tell her I got the bugs and I'm not telling her I already creamed but anyhow just to be safe and we will see if she prescribes me something or tries to send me somewhere I might just be forward and say I couldnt go to urgent care bc anyxiety. I dont need to tell them the medical system is a sham. I still have to put away nonpershiables . Its supposed to be 44 but mentions of wind concern me so in a bit I'm doing all indoor workout before chores. not sure of all the detials on how chores will work but ill figure it our as I go. I'm disappointed in my life and really wish I had strength to live a little more purely and maybe close off some evil doors which will help me prosper with the LORD and spare my soul. well its about 7 so Ill go text my love and keep easing into the day I'm going to crunch some numbers on my budget and see what sorta boxes or storage i can afford to get ordered.