Experienced Life
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2021-03-03 09:15:17 (UTC)

Testing out my telekinetic skills 🙃

Woke up craving coffee. Try as I might, no coffee is ready and waiting for me. My telekinetic powers still can't make it for me. Sigh.... Seems so easy on Stranger Things. hehe. My body is feeling the past few days of crossfit classes. Seems like we focused on upper body and my shoulders are hurting. Some quads too but not too bad in that area. I can see our gym is prepping for something great soon. We are still working out outdoors but I see them moving equipment around inside meaning we'll be sort of back to the way we used to work out again. Not just dumbbells and power bands anymore. Looks like we'll be using some heavy equipment again. But alas, no sleds. I used to love sleds but I don't see any artificial turf so that's not gonna happen. That was what really help tone my legs before. Still, I can't wait for the green light to be able to work out inside the gym again.

I saw something last night that bummed me out. Facebook sent those memories thing again. It was my profile pic with my now ex gf. It tugs at my heart and saddens me. I did my setf improvement thing but it still hurts to be reminded of some of the past. Sad that we didn't make it. We had great careers and we'd have a very very comfortable life together should we have teamed. I loved the little things we did like whomever gets up first made coffee. Usually it was at her place. It was cool that I knew her kitchen already. Knew which drawer had what and which cabinet had what too. Bringing back coffee for each other knowing how we liked it. There was a container for my green and white stuvia packets mixed with her yellow stevia packets and her powdered cream. Getting or receiving coffee in bed in the morning was our morning ritual (After the morning after sex). The sex was fantastic too. She had some very long legs and we had some very passionate moments. Even near the end of our relationship, we'd still make love and the passion was still strong.

So yeah, it sucks especially since I haven't really had a relationship since. Not a long one anyway. There were a few that sort of started but never went anywhere and never really got off the ground. Anyway, sad as if feels, I know it'll be ok. I used to hate when facebook would post crap like that but facebook is not a person so how can I really be made at facebook? And this feeling? I'm actually ok with it. Feeling this is ok. I think sometimes I need to feel the sadness so that when the going is good, it'll feel that much better. So even now, I can understand and be able to pull a little smile outta me. It keeps the scale of life ever known and present in my head. So I accept being a little bummed out today because I'm gonna love it when the good comes around the corner. Seems like a long ass corner but I'll be fine.

That was last night. Today my biggest immediate need I got some time to slack off too because my work schedule is actually pretty light at the moment. No more extra work at night so I'm going to enjoy this moment. Coffee time this morning will be nice, long, and peaceful. My zen moment will be very long this morning. Ok, tired of trying. Gonna have to really get up and make coffee already. later diary.

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